Archive for Leadership
Mistakes I’ve Made When Trying To Make The Right Decision April 5, 2012
I’ve never met a leader who told me, “I REALLY want to screw this next big decision up! Seriously, I want to make a mistake that really does hurt people!” And yet we as leaders sometimes do.
As a leader I’ve made some right decisions and some wrong ones…and as I’ve reflected on the ones I’ve made that are wrong there are some things that those wrong decisions have in common.
I made the wrong decision when…
#1 – I Stopped The Conflict In The Room
Every team has healthy conflict, you know, when two people can disagree about a decision without the relationship being ended. One of the good things (and bad things) about leaders is that we love to fix things, and so often times when good conflict is taking place we will often jump in and settle the argument and stop the conflict. AND…when we do we believe it’s good, when the opposite is quite true. Healthy conflict will often lead to great decisions!
#2 – I Was More Passionate About Getting Through My Meeting Agenda Than Making The Best Decision
I have a list of things I want to accomplish in a meeting, and often times I have felt we were not making progress and, because I feared that we were not going to get through all we had planned, would jump in and begin to make really quick decisions. During a meeting THE single most important issue is the one that is on the table being discussed…NOT the next item on your list. If every item does not have the full attention of everyone at the meeting, then some people simply do not need to be at the meeting.
#3 – I Refuse To Listen
When a leader refuses to accept what others at the table are saying there is going to be trouble. This will usually happen because…
- The leader is insecure and needs to be right…and his desire to be perceived to be the smartest in the room outweighs his desire to do the right thing.
- The leader knows what others will say…and he doesn’t want to hear it (often because he knows others are right!)
BTW…leaders, if you are holding back on sharing something with your team because you know they will push back because they won’t like it…then you REALLY need to think through it because if you cannot lead those closest to you through what you are wanting to do…how in the world do you think you will be able to lead your church through it?
#4 – I Settle For What I Already Know Is A Temporary Solution When I Should Be Seeking A Permanent One.
Our job as leaders is not to make things as easy, convenient and painless as possible…but rather to do what is right, even when it’s hard! When we make a decision knowing it is not best long term then we willingly put people and our churches/organizations at risk…which is not good leadership. We should always ask, “what is right” rather than “what is easy!” YES, leadership is hard…that’s why not everyone does it!!! So fight through the easy stuff to get to the right stuff.
Five Rules I Follow When Meeting With A Mentor March 28, 2012
I originally posted this back in 2008…but I modified it just a tad and really thought it was necessary to share again…
I have had the privilege of being mentored by some incredible leaders, some you would know, others you might not–but nonetheless, God has used them to teach me SO MUCH about life and ministry.
Over the years I have developed five rules for meeting with a mentor that I would love to share here today…you may agree or disagree, all I know is that they have worked for me.
#1 – I Always Adjust To Their Schedule–ALWAYS!
When I am attempting to set up an appointment with someone I want to meet with–I always ask them (or their assistant) to throw two or three dates at me that is most convenient for them…and then I adjust my schedule to make the meeting happen.
I NEVER send them the times I want and then ask them to adjust their schedules. I am the one who wants the meeting…and if they are available to me I will bend over backwards to hang out with them.
#2 – I Am Always Early For The Appointment
If I am driving from out of town I always make sure I arrive around 30 minutes early. If I get there TOO early then I will find a coffee shop–OR break out a book (ALWAYS have a book with you.) AND…if I see I am going to be late because of traffic or unforeseen circumstance I always give them (or their assistant) a call informing them that I am on my way. (I do this EVEN if I am going to be five minutes late–to me it’s simply a matter of respect.)
Usually I will arrive at the person’s office to meet them about 15 minutes early…and quite a few times the person I am meeting with has been ready, thus giving me “bonus time!”
#3 – I Have A List Of At Least Five Questions That I Want To Ask.
I remember John Maxwell saying to me once, “I will mentor you, but you have to ask the questions. I am not preparing a lesson for you…YOU guide this meeting. If you want to know something–ASK. If you don’t ask anything then we don’t really have anything to talk about.”
SO…anytime I meet with a mentor (especially JOHN) I am LOADED with questions. Sometimes I get them all answered…sometimes I don’t…but I NEVER walk into a meeting without having a list of what I would like to know.
#4 – I Don’t Talk About Myself Unless They Ask.
When I meet with a mentor I don’t spend 30 minutes telling them about myself, my daily routine, my philosophy of ministry and how good I think I am. I ask questions and then SHUT UP! If I disagree I do not argue; in fact, if I disagree with something I will usually ask them to explain their point of view a little more…which often times has helped me in SO many ways as I have learned that I really can love people even if we disagree! If they ask me a question in regards to what I believe about certain things then I will answer…if not then I will keep on asking them my questions. They didn’t ask to meet with me…I wanted to meet with them–TO LEARN from them, not debate them.
#5 – I Always Send A Note/Gift Saying Thanks.
I haven’t done this until recently…but anytime someone gives me time I will send them a Starbucks gift card or a restaurant gift card–just to thank them for the time. (And I jot them about a four sentence note–NOT A BOOK, but a note.)
Those are my rules…hope they help!
OTHER POSTS THAT YOU MAY WANT TO CONSIDER…
- “Figure It Out!” – There are some things a “mentor” can’t help you with…you are just going to have to figure it out!
- “What Did You Do Wrong?” – I often get asked this question by other church leaders, here’s a list of 7 things.
- “Five Questions That Leaders Should Ask” – Leaders don’t always have to have the answer…but we do need to ask the right questions. Here are five questions that always help me find the right answer.
10 Things I Wish I Could Say To Every Church Leader! March 21, 2012
#1 – You can do EXACTLY what God has called you to do!
#2 – Never, I mean EVER apologize for big vision!
#3 – Steps of faith are always scary…if they weren’t scary then you would not need faith!
#4 – What you are going through will not define you as a leader…but how you go through it will.
#5 – You can really get a great sense of what God is up to by looking at the people He has placed around you. If He is surrounding you with amazing people…I believe it’s because amazing things are about to happen.
#6 – Changing someone else’s idea is easy…allowing something to say that your idea needs to change is way more challenging but necessary for the long term growth of the church.
#7 – Every single decision you make impacts far more people than you could ever imagine, your life really is not your own…if you want to be a great leader then selfishness is not an option.
#8 – If you want excellent chemistry on your team then keep very short accounts and NEVER allow conflict to go unresolved.
#9 – Always allow conflict to take place (behind closed doors) and make sure than everyone has said everything they feel like they need to say. (People are way more likely to follow a leader they feel like listens to them.)
#10 – One of the best sources of information/ideas are the people you work with everyday…the reason they don’t share them with you is either because they feel as if they can’t or they have never been invited to do so.
What Every Leader Needs To Know March 14, 2012
People will not follow you long term if they do not like you.
Seriously, it doesn’t really matter how much you pay someone…you just can’t pay people enough to like you!!! Eventually, if you are not a leader who actually likes people they will leave (for a lesser salary) to go and work for someone who they do like.
However, your main obsession as a church leader should not be to be LIKED but rather to be LOYAL to the One who has called, chosen and equipped you for ministry.
The good news is that one does not have to be sacrificed for the other…
You do not have to become a people pleaser and turn your back on God.
And you do not have to be a ruthless, manipulative dictator because you are “honoring God’s call on your life!”
One of the things I’m personally discovering as a leader is…
The closer I walk with Jesus the more I love and care about people…and the more people understand that I care WAY MORE about WHO THEY ARE BECOMING than what they are actually doing then they are way more likely to buy into me as a leader–which is important because people buy into a leader WAY before they buy into what he/she is leading.
(Leaders, don’t FREAK OUT when you read this!!! If a person is becoming more like Jesus they will naturally do their best work…but if they are so immersed in doing work that they aren’t becoming more like Christ then you are in trouble. Most likely you are driving them out of fear and insecurity rather than leading them out of love and genuine concern!)
So, saying all of this–what is it that every leader needs to know?
Simple: Loving Jesus = loving people NOT using them!
Leaders that have positive long term impact are the ones who care way more about others than they do themselves.
I cannot be a leader who honors God and His call on my life if I do not love the people who He has called and equipped to work with me.
What Makes A GREAT Team? February 29, 2012
John Maxwell said it best…teamwork makes the dream work.
As I’ve reflected on the team that the Lord has blessed me with I’ve came to the following conclusions…
- The right team has chemistry, people don’t just love the work they do but also they love the people they’ve been called to do the work with. If people don’t love one another the team will be dysfunctional.
- The right team lightens the load for everyone in the room because problems do not belong to “me” but rather they belong to “we!”
- The right team has an open environment where truth, in love, can be spoken and people love the church and one another too much to allow team members to make a ridiculous decision.
- The right team will embrace uncomfortable conversations and will not drift towards making everyone in the room happy but rather making the right decision.
- The right team will refuse to allow personal preferences to dictate decisions.
- The right team will bring in people from outside the norm when trying to make a decision that directly impacts a particular area, understanding that this does not slow down the process but actually speeds it up…people are way more likely to buy into a decision when they feel as if they’ve had input.
- The right team will not fight to maintain status quo but rather to do everything possible to advance the cause.
- The right team will make hard decisions, knowing that the day they don’t forces them into cruise control where the biggest desire will eventually become to make sure everyone is as comfortable as possible.
- The right team is way more obsessed with their dreams of what could be rather than their memories of what has been!
I love the team I serve with!
I Should Be Concerned About Me If… February 23, 2012
#1 – My study of God’s Word/theology are leading me to greater levels of arrogance rather than greater levels of love, care and compassion for other people. (John 5:39-40!)
#2 – I desire to have conversations about people far from God but actually don’t have a heart to see them converted to Christ. (As was the case with the disciples when they talked about the guy in John 9:1-2 but didn’t want to talk to him!)
#3 – I secretly rejoice whenever I hear about something bad or unfortunate to someone who I perceive to be more successful than me.
#4 – I always have a bad attitude and when confronted about it I always reply, “that’s just the way I am!” (See Philippians 2:5…and keep in mind that Paul wrote that sentence from a prison cell!)
#5 – The closer people get to me the less they actually love and respect me.
#6 – I have a much greater passion for the comfortable and secure rather than taking a step of faith and embracing the uncomfortable and unknown. (As I’ve said before, if we are not willing to embrace the uncomfortable we will eventually be unfaithful.) See Hebrews 11:6
#7 – Everyone always speaks well of me! (See Luke 6:26)
#8 – I am tired, exhausted and emotionally spent but refuse to slow down and dismiss what I’m going through as a phase of life and tell those closest to me that “one day it will just get better.” (Remember, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.)
#9 – I see people who don’t believe exactly like me as somehow being less than me.
#10 – There is something about my private life that, if it became public, would disqualify me from ministry.
Why I Use Twitter/Social Media February 22, 2012
I saw some chatter several weeks ago in internet world that caused me to think and reflect about a few things, specifically in regards to why I use twitter…thus prompting me to write this post. (And let me be very clear that not everyone will agree with my thoughts, which is ok, I am not trying to win an argument here, just expressing how I feel.)
I basically use twitter for two reasons…
#1 – To Communicate To NewSpring Church
I do not have a Facebook account yet (we’re working on it though) and so I have found that one of the most effective ways I can communicate with people who attend NewSpring during the week is through twitter. I have found that throwing random tweets out about what I happen to be doing allows a big church to feel small and it allows me to share information to everyone in our church.
#2 – To Encourage Church Leaders
I believe church leaders really are the most important people on the planet. Church leaders have more potential to bring positive change to the world than any government official that has ever lived….
And church leaders are WAY under-encouraged.
So, I try to do what I can when I am led to tweet something positive and encouraging to church leaders.
However, recently I came into contact with an idea that seems to make the two reasons I use twitter contradict. Let me explain…
I’ve seen it said in internet world that a pastor should not tweet things like,
- “Had a really amazing service today as BLANK number of people were baptized!”
- “Saw BLANK number of people receive Christ today!”
- “Ran out of room in our 11:15 service at our BLANK campus!”
- “Best service we’ve ever had at BLANK church!”
I could go on, but you can see that it is the opinion of some for pastors and church leaders to NOT celebrate publicly when God is doing amazing things in their churches.
Why?
We seem to think it is ok for pastors to celebrate when their favorite football teams seem to accomplish something that isn’t really eternally significant! OR…it’s even cool for pastors to tweet/communicate about events like the Oscars or the Grammys…
So why not celebrate what God IS doing in the church?
The only reason that I keep seeing is that “it makes other church planters and leaders feel bad.”
Really?
WOW…I would have thought the opposite.
The primary reason I tweet is for NewSpring Church, the secondary is for church leaders, and I would hope that church leaders who are kingdom minded could celebrate anything that God is doing anywhere.
If seeing that God is blessing somewhere else (other than your church) causes you to “feel bad” then you most likely have one of two issues.
#1 – You Have Fallen Captive To Comparison.
As I once heard Bishop TD Jakes say, “some men never leave the locker room!”
Church leader, God has called you to do what He has called you to do where He has called you to do it. THE ONLY thing you should compare your ministry to is whether or not you are being completely obedient to His calling.
You are not called to be Andy Stanley…or Craig Groeschel (hands down the BEST looking pastor on the planet…I’m jealous) or even Steven Furtick!!! You are called to be YOU!!! Some people can’t see what God is doing right in front of their eyes because they are too busy being envious of what He is doing somewhere else.
The Apostle Paul warns about comparisons in II Corinthians 10:12, affirmed the same God working in different ministries in Galatians 2:8 and told us to pay attention to business at home in Galatians 6:4.
Be who God has called you to be! Do what God has called you to do! And stop trying to “measure up” to standards and expectations you feel others have placed on you but God hasn’t placed on you!!! (There is INCREDIBLE freedom in this line of thinking!)
#2 – You Are Not Kingdom Minded.
I know that sounds harsh, but stay with me for a second.
In Luke 15 Jesus said the angels in heaven throw a party when one sinner repents of his/her ways.
A PARTY FOR ONE PERSON!
A celebration!!!
If the angels (who know God and His heart better than we do) celebrate, shouldn’t we?
Or is it that we want to celebrate what God is doing with and through us…but not what He’s doing elsewhere because it make take away some of the attention that we secretly crave.
When I hear of another church running out of room in one of their services, I celebrate!!! PLEASE! That’s MORE PEOPLE coming to church, hearing about Jesus!!! That does not make me sad or mad, that PUMPS ME UP!!!
When I see on twitter that a pastor is celebrating one, or a dozen or even a hundred people receiving Christ on a Sunday…I celebrate!!! How in the heck can that make a Kingdom minded person feel bad? PEOPLE CAME FROM DEATH TO LIFE!!!
Christians seem to be really amazing at critiquing another ministry but not celebrating it!
And…if it makes you feel bad because it isn’t happening in your church then use it to motivate you, to set your heart on fire, to BEG GOD to do something great in your midst rather than being upset that He is doing something great somewhere else other than your church.
I remember when NewSpring Church was a year or two old and I would hear of God doing a great work somewhere else I would celebrate and then pray a prayer something like, “God, if you could do that over there then you can do greater things here.” God doing great things in other places always motivated me to BEG HIM for more!!
The world kicks our rear end when it comes to celebrating…which is sad because they have nothing eternally worthy of celebration!!!
So, as I continue tweeting I will continue to communicate to our church what is going on across five (about to be eight) campuses. I want everyone to know as much as possible as we are ONE CHURCH in many locations across the state.
And, I will continue to try to encourage church leaders. But…church leaders, if quotes about what God is doing here seems to dishearten you or even discourage you then I really do apologize, that has never been the intent at all. However, if that is the case then I would challenge you to pray and ask the Lord to allow you to be more kingdom minded…
Because…when one church “wins” WE ALL WIN!
We are on the same team!!!
Let’s CELEBRATE!!!