• You absolutely are in love with the way things are
• You are increasingly obsessed with the people who hate and criticize you the most.  (Here are 7 difference between a coach and a critic, PART ONE & PART TWO & PART THREE)
• You are not hungry for wisdom. (Proverbs 4:5-7)
• You are not willing to make uncomfortable decisions. (Galatians 1:10)
• You are a people pleaser. (Proverbs 29:25)
• You are not willing to accept responsibility for where you are right now.  (The person who always has to blame is always lame!)
• You are not willing to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:25)
• You are using people rather than valuing them.
• You are more in love with comfort than carrying your cross. (Luke 9:23)
• You never allow yourself to be exposed to new ideas and methods. (Isaiah 42:9, Isaiah 43:19, Isaiah 48:6)
• You take shortcuts (see Exodus 13:17-18)
• You expect people to read your mind and then hold them accountable for things you never actually said but rather just assumed they knew.  (Great leaders will leave you if you do this.)
• You do not hold people accountable to what they have said they will do.
• You are always looking for a fight instead of a solution. (II timothy 2:23)
• You are not begging God to reveal more of Himself to you.

• The goal of a leader isn’t to keep people happy but to keep people moving, which often times makes them not happy!
• The goal of a leader isn’t to get something out of people but rather to invest in them!
• The goal of a leader isn’t to DO all of the work, but to DELEGATE the work to the right people who can do it better than them anyway.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to merely identify problems but rather to initiate the solution to the problems.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to declare what he is against but rather define what he is for.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to fight but to figure out how to learn from those who have different opinions…and are actually willing to sit down and, in love, talk about the issues.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to be perfect but rather to give his best effort, knowing that he falls incredibly short unless God is involved.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to model perfection but rather to admit weaknesses, mistakes and shortcomings.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to solve every problem but rather to seek the counsel of those who know how to fix the problem.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to tear down but rather to build up.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to avoid tough conversations and situations but rather to take them head on with both conviction and compassion!
• The goal of a leader isn’t to wish for more time but rather to use his time wisely.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to make excuses but rather to make progress.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to get bitter but to get better when faced with an “opportunity for improvement.”
• The goal of a leader isn’t to be envious but rather to be a student of all that God is blessing.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to be secluded but rather to surround himself with the right time.
• The goal of a leader isn’t to be original but rather to understand that there really is nothing new under the sun!
• The goal of a leader isn’t to restrain the people he works with but rather to figure out how to UNLEASH them!

Just a few goals I am working on personally!  :-)

• You do not enjoy being around one another.
• You hardly ever have any fun together.
• You think everyone in the room (except for you) is a complete moron.
• You don’t trust each other.
• You constantly interrupt each other without letting the other person actually complete their thoughts.
• You rehearse the fights you perceive to be coming in your mind before the meeting.
• You have no one on the team that will actually speak the truth.
• You always look for the easy solution rather than the right one.
• You are not fully engaged in the meetings that you are involved in.  (If you are checking email, facebook and tweeting during a meeting then you are NOT fully engaged and are under-serving as a leader!)
• You are obsessed with being recognized rather than seeing how you can serve.
• You constantly come up with solutions that make your job easier and puts more strain on the people whom you have given the responsibility to lead.
• You always try to make sure everyone around the table is always happy with every decision that is made.
• You have people at the table that are personally irresponsible with their finances.  If they are responsible with their own…then why would it be any different when it comes to the churches?
• You have a resume.  (I recently told our entire staff, “if you have a resume then I either want you to destroy it or send it out!”  If you have a resume that simply means there is always a thought in your mind of going somewhere else!!!  ”But what if they fire me,” you ask?  I say if you are an awesome worker then you won’t need a resume, people will find you!  See Proverbs 22:29)

So, how’s your team?

AND, if we are not careful we will allow ourselves to become so distracted that we will actually begin to care for other things way more than the people that Jesus died for and has called us to take care of.

Recently in an all staff meeting I shared with our staff three things that we are tempted to love more than people…and how we’re going to do all we can to make sure that because people matter to God they matter to us as well.

Temptation #1 – To Love The Process More Than People

I’m a type-A, obsessive compulsive person, and so I love organization, structure and systems that make things easier for me to manage.  However, not all people are like that.

The danger is that in church we would develop a process for volunteers, discipleship and such and then expect EVERYONE to “fall in line” and do what we think is best.  In other words, we approach people with a scientific approach rather than an artistic one.

(By the way, I believe God IS an artist!  Don’t believe me…check out the sunsets for the next several nights, none of them will be the exact same.  I like to think He whips out His paintbrush and makes it new every evening!)

Don’t get me wrong, the church NEEDS certain processes and such; however, all too often I have fallen into the trap of trying to use a process that has been developed rather than really taking the time to find out more about the person that needs to be developed.

When a person isn’t a fit into a process that has been developed we need to stop and see what is going on in that person’s life.  It’s not their job to fit into our system, it’s our job to discover where they are and then lead them to a place where they can grow in their relationship with Christ.

Temptation #2 – To Love Progress More Than People

I love progress, all leaders do.  However, if we are not careful we will fall so in love with the idea of every chart moving up and to the right that we lose sight of what really matters when it comes to ministry–people.

I get the fact that some people simply cannot move forward with a church or organization.  They can’t handle change and simply refuse to go along with all that the Lord is doing.  But…we should never assume that just because people don’t seem to “get it” that they are automatically against what we are doing.  Maybe they have questions.  Maybe they have legitimate concerns.  Maybe they don’t fully understand all that is going on.  AND…if those three things are true then it isn’t really their fault that they are not “on board,” it’s the leaders fault.

There will be times we need to slow down, take a breath and offer grace filled explanations to all that is taking place…and when a leader or organization refuses to do that because it would simply take too much time then they have fallen in love with progress more than people.

Temptation #3 – To Love Preferences More Than People

If you’ve been in ministry long enough then there are people (or types of people) that you prefer to stay away from.  (Don’t lie!!!)  Why do we prefer to keep them at a safe distance?  Simple…they’re messy, and we, for the most part, love for things to be neat, clean and predictable.

We prefer clean people and clean situations…and so we isolate ourselves from messy situations.  However, one of the things I’ve discovered in the past 20 years of ministry is that isolation really does lead to me being ineffective as a pastor.  And…if I isolate myself from the mess then I am not becoming more like Jesus because He always walked straight towards the mess.

If I am going to follow Christ I cannot allow personal preference to trump my love for people because in doing so then I totally communicate that I’ve forgotten what Christ did for me!  After all, if Jesus would have walked away from the mess rather than walking towards it…we’d all be in a lot of trouble!

#2 – It’s safe!  Background checks have been ran on every staff member (in our church) and every volunteer that has any contact with children (or students!)  There is a volunteer security team that makes sure random people do not just walk through our kid’s area…and there is a solid check-in system where not just anyone can come pick the child up from their class, whoever checked them in must check them out.

#3 – It’s fun!  My four year old daughter LOVES CHURCH, LOVES IT!!!  I love the fact that “fun” is a value in our kid’s ministry!!!  Where in the world did we ever get the idea that kid’s must suffer through church?  Heaven is NOT boring, it’s going to be a massive party/celebration, church should be as well (especially for kids!)

#4 – Our Staff & Volunteers Are Awesome – Our children’s staff LOVE children!  Our volunteers love children!  They do not do what they do out of duty but rather delight!!!  If a staff member or volunteer the children’s area does not absolutely love children then they need to be moved to another area.  Kid’s can read right through an adult…and a ministry that isn’t based out of love for children will be unfruitful and ineffective.

#5 – Our Kid’s Know God’s Word – Every week on the way home from church I ask Charisse two questions (by the way, these are the two questions I’ve shared with our children’s ministry for over a decade in regards to what their vision should be for children’s ministry.  I have said that parents are going to ask their kids two questions every Sunday…which are…

• Did you have fun?  (This one is first 90% of the time!)
• What did you learn?

It always fills my heart with joy every time Charisse tells me what she learned in her class about the Scriptures.  AND…there has NEVER been a week since she’s been active in a classroom that she hasn’t learned something.  Seriously, when a church commits to teaching children about Jesus in an environment that they love and in a manner that is on their level then they are making an investment in the next generation!

#6 – They Are Resourced!  NewSpring Church invests heavily in our youth and children’s ministry!  I don’t believe they are “the church of tomorrow,” I believe they are the church of TODAY!  I believe they matter TODAY!  I believe that if we invest in them TODAY and teach them about Jesus TODAY and help them grow up with a favorable view of church TODAY then their tomorrow will look a lot different!!!  A church that refuses to spend money on reaching the next generation has basically told them they can go to hell!  Disney spends money on them!  The Cartoon Network spends money on them!  The church should spend money on them!

#7 – They have AN EXCELLENT LEADER!  Cherie Duffey, our children’s director is the absolute best on the planet!  She LOVES kids (and has four boys of her own!)  Seriously, she has more passion for children and their families than anyone I’ve ever seen!  (By the way, a passionate and wise leader makes a HUGE difference!)  I am so honored that Charisse (my daughter) is going to have the privilege of being in an environment every week that is directly impacted by Cherie’s vision and passion for seeing children learn about Jesus on their level!

A dynamic children’s ministry cannot be underrated!  If we want to reach them we have to start as early as we can!!

And yet every leader I know (including the guy I shaved with this morning) deals with fear.  As I’ve traced my own journey through fear in leadership I wanted to share 10 things fear causes in our lives.

(When I speak of fear in this post I am speaking of fear of man – see Proverbs 29:25 – and irrational fear.)

#1 – Fear causes us to reduce the size of God and elevate the size and opinion of man.

#2 – Fear causes us to lead people in the wrong direction.  (Remember when the Israelites wanted to GO BACK TO EGYPT and being slaves because they feared going into the land that God had promised them?)

#3 – Fear causes us to stay quiet when we should clearly speak up.  (Mostly because many times we are OBSESSED with what others think about us, see Galatians 1:10)

#4 – Fear causes us to be passive about an issue that the Lord has clearly brought to our attention.  (As Edmund Burke once said:  ”The only thing necessary for the triumph [of evil] is for good men to do nothing.”)

#5 – Fear causes us to seek consensus rather than really seeking the voice of the Lord.

#6 – Fear causes us to not engage the broken, the hurting, the misfits and the neglected because if we include them in our lives and actually invite them into our homes then it could get messy.  (I’m so glad Jesus didn’t have that attitude…if He would have then I would have been screwed!)

#7 – Fear causes us to refuse to embrace change because we care way more about being comfortable than being conformed into the image of Christ.

#8 – Fear causes us to control things and take matters into our own hands rather than trusting the Lord and trusting others.  (People who are control freaks really do fear when things don’t go their way!  BUT…remember, control is the biggest illusion in the world, I wrote about that here.)

#9 – Fear causes us to conceal sin and shame in our lives when God’s Word is so clear that we should ask others for help – James 5:16

#10 – Fear causes us to seek the easy decision rather than seeking the right one.

Before you get angry let me ask a few questions…

• Does Martha Stewart have to declare she is a good cook?
• Does Drew Brees have to declare that he is a good quarterback?
• Does Taylor Swift have to declare that she can sing?
• Does Lebron James have to declare he can dunk a basketball?
• Does B.B. King have to declare that he can play the blues?
• Does John Grisham have to declare that he can write fiction really well?

The answer to these questions is a BIG FAT NO!!!  These people aren’t who they are because of what they are declaring, but rather because of what they are doing!!!

Anyone can declare that they can do something, but a really wise man (JESUS) once said that wisdom is proved right by actions (doing) and not merely by declaration!  (That is my paraphrase of Matthew 11:19)

If you church is missional then you don’t have to tell anyone, the world already knows.

And, if you are not missional then using that as a buzzword will not help!!!

The church needs to have less declaring and more doing; after all, didn’t that same really wise man say that the world would know we are His because of the way we love one another (see John 13:34-35)?

When a church is missional it never has to declare it to be so…it simply does what it does and the world around it is changed!

“Covering laziness in prayer is not a spiritual discipline.”

It was retweeted several times; however, there were also a few people who said that the statement was confusing and asked for an explanation.  So here goes…

I believe that many people in the Body of Christ use prayer as an excuse for inactivity and laziness.

Yes, I am ALL ABOUT PRAYER!  I’ve seen Jesus do things through the power of prayer that would make a Methodist shout.

However, there are some things that we simply cannot “cover in prayer” and hope they will get better.  Nope, we’ve got to take action!!!  Things such as…

If you need to lose weight you are not going to “pray the pounds away!”  It’s just not going to happen!!!  You are going to have to get your butt up off of the couch and exercise.  You are going to have to stop slamming cookies in your mouth.  You are going to have to stop drinking 10 sodas a day!  You can pray all you want…but if you do not put action with your prayer it’s NOT going to help!

If your marriage is in trouble and is on edge then you are not going to “pray it back into a great place.”  You are going to have to start paying attention to your wife…and turn the freakin TV off.  You are going to have to pursue her…and NOT just when you want something from her.  You are going to have to stop being a jerk.  And ladies, you are going to have to stop gossipping about your husband to your friends.  You are going to have to stop telling your children their father is a loser.

If you want your kids to admire and respect you it’s not going to happen through “just praying about it.”  You are going to have to spend time with them.  You are going to have to talk with them, even the awkward subjects.  You are going to have to admit your sins and shortcomings to them and ask for their forgiveness.  You are going to have to STOP trying to be their friend and actually be the parent!

If you are broke then you are not going to just “pray money into your bank account.”  You are going to have to put God first in your finances.  You are going to have to STOP spending money you don’t have to buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like.  You are going to have to get on a budget and live within your means.

If you are struggling with a particular sin that is kicking your rear end you aren’t going to “pray it out of your life!”  (By the way, many of you have tried that, I just wanted to ask, “how’s that going for you?”)  Nope…you are going to need to do what James 5:16 says and confess it, OUT LOUD, to another human being who is stronger than you spiritually and that can help you fight through this issue!

If you are a church leader and there is a situation that is dominating you and your ministry, you’ve got to do something about it!!!  David didn’t just pray and pray and God, through his prayer times, took Goliath out!  Nope, David picked up five rocks, walked down into the valley and handled business.  You cannot be passive about an issue and believe that “through prayer” God will just take it away.  If you are a leader and God brings an issue to your attention…He most likely did so because He expects you to take ACTION!

I could go on, but you get the point.  Prayer is essential!  Prayer is necessary!  Prayer is commanded!  Prayer is a powerful weapon which we should make more use of in the church; however, God did not just call us to PRAY about His will but also to PARTICIPATE in it. And too many times Christians are willing to pray about things and think we’ve done our part…and then get angry at God because He did not do something amazing to compensate for our laziness and passivity.

Don’t just pray to God…but participate with God as He moves!

Let this be the year that we don’t just pray big prayers…but we take bold steps and believe that as we pray and participate we will see God do amazing things!

#2 – You are going to be less critical of other people who don’t think just like you and actually see what you can learn from them.

#3 – You are going to stop listening to people who want to do nothing but attack you and tear you down but actually care nothing about you, your family or your church.

#4 – You are going to start listening to people who love Jesus, love your church and love you…and when they push back on you in love you are not going to label them as “disloyal” but rather open yourself to the possibility that Jesus may be using them to speak to you.

#5 – You are going to start loving your people rather than demanding that they love you.

#6 – You are going to take bigger steps of faith than you have ever take before…understanding that when you begin to celebrate the past more than you anticipate the future, it’s OVER!

#7 – You are going to quit looking for handouts and drop the entitlement mindset and actually pay the price both personally and as a church to grow in your understanding of leadership.

#8 – You are going to quit trying to pray away what God has directly told you to deal with.

#9 – You are going to stop complaining about all of the staff and resources that you do not have and START being grateful to God for what He has given you…and then doing your best to honor Him!

#10 – You are going to stop comparing yourself to others and actually find your identity in the fact that Jesus saved you, called you, equipped you and is using you rather than how many people showed up to your church this past Sunday!

#4 – What A Wife Should NEVER Do!

#3 – 10 Reasons I SHOULD NOT Be Dating Him/Her

#2 – My Thoughts On Hell & Rob Bell

#1 – My Wife Had A Bad Experience At Chic-Fil-A!

A Huge “thank you” to everyone for visiting this site this year…

Happy New Year, REALLY looking forward to 2012!