Archive for Communication
16 Questions That Will Help Us Make It In Ministry - Part Six May 28, 2009
6. Am I Preaching What Jesus Wants Me To Preach?
In Matthew 10:7 He clearly told the disciples what to preach.
Let me make a confession as a preacher there has been many Sunday nights driving home from NewSpring that I begin to actually freak out about the next Sunday and worry about whether or not the message will come together.
There have been many Saturday nights before the next Sunday that I’m wigging out and I’m telling my wife, “honey the message just isn’t there.” She confronted me very lovingly but very directly one night and asked me, “Perry when was the last time that Jesus did not give you a message?”
Pastors I believe that we are worry about what we are going to preach way too much and don’t concern ourselves with who we’re preaching for and who we’re preaching to.
If we are walking with Jesus and we have the gift of preaching, He is always going to put a word in our heart to bring to the people He has called us to lead. Our job is to preach exactly what He has poured into us and not what we perceive will make the people in the pews or the chairs happy. We are preachers and prophets not prostitutes. We don’t get paid for a service that makes people feel good. We are called to honor God by preaching His word even when it is hard.
So…what is it He has called you to preach? If you KNEW you had one last message to preach…what would it be? If you knew you were only going to get to stand before your church one more time and preach…what would you say?
HIS Word IS living and active…and He will ALWAYS put a Word in us if we are seeking HIS Word on a daily basis! These guys preached out of the overflow…remember…they weren’t the religious elite…they had simply spent a lot of time with Jesus and then went out and said everything they had heard Him say.
We’re called to do the same!
Four Points Of Attack (Part 2) - Your Doctrine May 13, 2009
Area #2 – Your Doctrine
Most people who come into your church will say that they want you to teach from the Bible…but often times what they really mean is that they want you to teach from the way THEY see the Bible…AND from the translation they prefer as well!
We are told in Scripture to watch our life and doctrine closely (I Timothy 4:16). We are told that teachers will be judged more strictly (James 3:1). God takes HIS Word seriously…and so should we (Revelation 22:18-19)!!!
However, WE CANNOT teach another person’s theological convictions as our own. We MUST study the Scriptures, seek wise counsel, pray, read and then OWN what we teach. (I Peter 3:15)
UNDERSTANDING that when we do—there are going to be people who disagree with what we teach. Which is OK…as long as we know that we are making every effort to be as theologically sound as we can be. AND…we’ve got to understand as well that godly men and women who really love Jesus have been on both sides of most major theological arguments.
One of the things I often tell the people at NewSpring Church is that I will not lead them astray when it comes to theology or food! We take doctrine seriously…every message we prepare takes hours to shape…and then I gather godly men and women around me who diligently search the Scriptures and hold me accountable on the doctrine that is being taught.
(We’ve had some very lively theological conversations in the meetings I mentioned in the above paragraph!)
We’ve GOT to take what we teach people seriously…WITH the understanding that no matter how much time we put into the message there will always be people who disagree with what we say.
BUT…that is cool because when people do question us it gives us a chance to either KNOW what we believe OR go back and research to see if our convictions are OWNED by us…or just a cool concept we heard on a podcast.
It’s The Vision, STUPID! September 30, 2008
I’ve had a few people ask me my opinion on the presidential debate that took place this past Friday…so, I will share it here…and also be VERY transparent as to what God taught me through watching.
Honestly, both me drove me absolutely crazy! I speak for a living…and so I pay close attention to communication styles and techniques. And NEITHER of these men went into the debate focused on the subject…because…
THEY LITERALLY WASTED THE TIME OF MILLIONS OF AMERICANS because they were OBSESSED WITH TEARING EACH OTHER APART!
All they did was attack each other! They literally could NOT speak for more than two minutes without tearing the other person down.
Why did this bother me? Because NEITHER one of them took the time to actually focus on casting a compelling vision of the way things could be and should be.
I literally wanted to scream at the television, “I KNOW you don’t like the other guy…leave him alone! STOP trying to instill fear in me because of all you perceive that he wants to do! TELL ME YOUR PLAN…DREAM BIG…CAST VISION…LEAVE YOUR TALKING POINTS AND OWN WHAT YOU BELIEVE!!!” AHHHHHHH!
I honestly believe the first candidate that will stop trying to smear the other person and simply focuses in vision…the one who can simply share from his heart what he wants to see for the country and STOP being so freakin’ negative…that guy will win!
There needs to be a point of realization for both of these men that they SHOULD NOT try to define themselves by declaring who they are not…but rather who they are!!!
People are SO turned off to negativity…which brings me to my next point…which is SO convicting…
While I was sitting there steaming over having wasted time watching two grown men go “Jr. High” on one another I realized that, as a leader, I’ve been so guilty of the same thing…wasting people’s time declaring who we are NOT as a church rather than casting a compelling vision of who we should be and could be!
It is so easy as a pastor to fall into the temptation of defining yourself by declaring all of the things you are against…but what will truly impact people is when we begin to declare what we are for.
It’s a leaders job to cast vision and focus people on the future, not to be in a constant state of comparison. I wrestle with this–every leader I know does; however, I honestly believe that the more passionate and obsessive we become about VISION…the more of a difference God will allow our churches to have.
This is an area of my life I think I will always wrestle with…but I am in a constant state of prayer, begging God that He will guide me to lead with vision and not with criticism and fear.
Three Truths To Keep In Mind When Trying To Resolve Conflict–Part Three September 18, 2008
And finally the third truth…
#3 - Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On You If You Are Angry!
Ephesians 4:26-27 is HUGE when it comes to both resolving conflict and keeping working relationships healthy.
One of the mistakes that I made pretty often when we began NewSpring Church was to try to internalize everything that came my way, trying to “figure out” what people were really saying and thinking INSTEAD of just asking them.
And that, my friends, gave the enemy a foothold that he used to climb all over me!
The scenario would go something like this…
Someone would say something in a meeting or in the halls that I didn’t like or agree with. In some instances I may have felt attacked or torn down. Of course that would make me angry…and I would usually just walk away…
BUT…when I finally calmed down I would begin to think about the person that had brought the issue to my attention…and instead of thinking about what they said I began to think about all of the things I didn’t like about them…and all of the problems I thought they had.
By the time the evening rolled around I would be sitting in my home having imaginary arguments with them (I always won!!!) AND…if I wasn’t careful I would begin to say slightly negatvie things about them in front of others…and actually looked for opportunities to tear them down.
Sin has a funny way of trying to justify itself!!!
So…several years ago I decided that if the Bible said to not allow the sun to go down on my anger…then that is exactly what I was going to do.
WHICH means I’ve had to make some late night phone calls. I’ve had to walk into some offices and close the door & say, “Hey, I know you probably didn’t mean it…but I felt torn down when you said what you said…”
(By the way…90% of the time the person who I was angry with is completely surprised that I took what they said the way I did. I had someone tell me a long time ago that words don’t have meanings…people have meanings. That is so true!)
Bottom line…I try my hardest to not go to bed angry at anyone! EVER! Sure, it’s made for some long conversaations…and there have been times that I have had to say, “Look, we obviously are not seeing eye to eye here…but can we at least agree that we are on the same team and pray through a solution?”
The enemy WANTS to destroy harmony among team members! He wants you to think negative thoughts about others. He wants us misunderstanding one another. Unity and harmony MUST be valued…and pride must be put aside so that effectiveness will continue!
There is NOTHING LIKE serving on a team where the people actually love one another…BUT that atmosphere doesn’t happen by accident…it only happens when each team member decides that the sun is not going to go down on their anger!
Three Truths To Keep In Mind When Trying To Resolve Conflict–Part Two September 16, 2008
#2 - Be Honest!
One of the things I will do from time to time in a meeting is address the tension that exists in the room. (Isn’t it funny how tension always makes its presence known?)
One of the drawbacks of working with people you actually like is that no one wants to hurt another person’s feelings…and so they hold back from saying what is really on their mind…
WHICH is, in my opinion, one of the worse things a person can do who has been called to serve in any sort of leadership capacity!
The team that I serve with has purposefully created a “say what needs to be said” environment. Yes, we do love one another…but each one of us has made a commitment to never put personal feelings over our calling to lead!
I have often said when introducing an idea to the group, “Guys, this is what I am thinking…but in order for this to work I need your unfiltered feedback…don’t hold back!”
At times I wished I hadn’t asked for that…but because people on our team do not hold back…I never have to wonder what people were REALLY thinking about an idea.
One more thing about this…if a person holds back from saying what they are really thinking…they will begin to build resentment towards a person and their ideas…even the good ones. It is SO IMPORTANT that teams be honest at all times with each other…because I’ve seen people EXPLODE over petty issues that were nothing more than weeks, even months of built up frustration over not saying what they were really thinking.
OK…I lied, I just had one more thought…I have discovered that when I hold back that I will often times build up assumptions in my mind that I believe the other person believes (usually negative towards me,) which will also lead to bitterness and divisiveness.
SO…my challenge to any team is…say what needs to be said! AND…to the team I serve with…THANKS for not holding back! God’s Kingdom has never been advanced by wimpy men whose biggest desire was to make everyone feel OK and whose biggest desire was to experience warm fuzzies together!
Three Truths To Keep In Mind When Trying To Resolve Conflict–Part One September 15, 2008
One of the biggest problems that I believe exists among church leaders is unresolved conflict.
We are living in a dream world if we actually believe that people who serve together on a team will never get angry at someone; however, here are three things that I have tried to personally impliment in my life that helps resolve the conflict.
#1 - Understand That E-mail Does Not Work!
E-mail is a powerful and useful tool when it comes to communicating information. BUT…should be TOTALLY AVOIDED when trying to resolve conflict.
I learned in college that 80-90% of all communication is non-verbal. With that being the case–e-mail would eliminate one of the most important aspects of communication, therby leaving room for LOTS of misunderstanding.
I have gotten SO ANGRY at people over an email before, thinking they meant one thing when, in actuality, they meant something totally different. AND…when I finally had the guts to have a face to face conversation and bring up their “hurtful” comments in the email…they have looked at me like I was on crack and said, “Man, I am sorry you thought that…but that is not at all what I meant.”
I recently violated this first rule recently. I heard something that bothered me…and so instead of having a face to face conversation with the team I serve with & finding out the facts…I shot out an email with certain demands and hard hitting statements.
WRONG MOVE!
When people’s feelings are involved it is SO WORTH THE TIME to either break off a phone call…or walk down the hall to have a conversation.
As I said…I was recently reminded of that…and even though it takes a lot more effort to not utilize email in this arena…it keeps the relationships with the people I work with both fresh and conflict free.
Oh yeah…the same thing can be true for texting as well!
Once more…when emailing people can’t see or hear your heart or your tone…it is SO WORTH the time to talk face to face!
Three Things A Speaker Should Do August 20, 2008
The mind battles that are fought before and after a message are intense…always!!! Some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows are while a message is being prepared, delivered and the days (and even weeks) that follow. Here are a few pieces of advice…
#1 - Get alone with God and let Him set you on fire.
John Wesley once said, “I just set myself on fire and people come to watch me burn.” We NEED that in our speakers today.
I’m afraid too many of us are dominated by the thought, “what is so and so going to think if I say this.” And we become WAY more obsessed with not offending people…and in doing so we are perfectly willing to offend Jesus.
My advice…get ALONE with God and let Him absolutely put a message inside of your that absolutely burns your very soul…and you feel like you will explode if you don’t get what He’s put in you out of you!
One more thing before I move on…FIRE BURNS!!! If you preach what God has burned into your heart God will use it to purify some…and burn others! You & I can NOT EVER being more concerned with people’s comfort & neglect God’s command.
#2 - Understand That People Will ALWAYS Misunderstand What You Say…And Even Get Angry!
This may come as a complete shock to you…but I offend people every Sunday! Yes, it IS true! I know that is SO hard to believe. But…here’s the kicker…
Often times I offend people that I didn’t really know I was offending…and most (not all) of the time it’s because they took an element of what I said…just a small piece and blew it COMPLETELY out of context. Oh yeah…it’s going to happen.
For example, just the other week I made the comment from stage that the Democratic Party was way more organized and direct with what they were trying to communicate that the Republican party. I was in NO WAY endorsing either party; however, we actually had a few people think I was endorsing Democrats!!!
Pastors, people will always tell you AFTER you speak what you should and should not have said! Anyone can be an “arm chair quarterback” and “call the plays” from the comfort of their living room! But, once again, allow God to get you on fire, to put HIS WORDS in YOUR HEART, don’t feel like you need to throw out a disclaimer for every other statement.
#3 - Keep The “One Day” Principle In Mind
I say it all of the time–but Hebrews 13:17 is a verse that every pastor SHOULD memorize!!!
Pastors, one day we will stand before God and be held accountable for how we lead and communicate.
Every message I prepare and deliver I have to say, “Would I be willing to stand in front of the Almighty right now with a clear conscience in regards to this message?”
You see, when we preach–HE is the ONE we are called to honor…not the deacons, church board or the largest giver!
One day I will stand in front of God…and if you are settled in your heart in regards to that–then step out and speak with confidence and conviction, knowing that you can NEVER, I mean EVER please God and people!
By the way…before I close let me say that I am FULLY CONVINCED that it is a great idea for pastors to bounce their messages off of a group of people for the purpose of clarity and getting new ideas and thoughts…but dude, they will not stand beside you one day when you go before God…it will be you and Him…so always make sure that you are doing what you do for His honor…HIS ALONE!