God And Frustration June 23, 2009

Being a parent is teaching me so much about…me…

The other day I was in the living room and asked Charisse to do something…and she completely ignored me and kept right on going with her agenda.

SO…I repeated myself to her, thinking maybe she had not heard me; after all, my beautiful, perfect little angel would NEVER ignore her father’s voice because I was asking something that may inconvenience her, right?  ☺

She ignored me again…so…

I got up from the couch and said, “Charisse, what did daddy say?”

She stopped what she was doing, looked me in the eyes and told me exactly what I had been asking her to do…and then she went and did it.

She heard me, she understood me…she just chose to put me off for as long as she could before obeying me…perhaps thinking if she ignored me long enough that I would change my mind.

I said out loud (to no one in particular), “Why in the world didn’t she just do what I told her the first time?”

And then I felt the Lord ask me the same thing about me!  SNAP!

I can not count the number of times I have really felt the Lord pressing down on me to do something…and I don’t necessarily say no…I just choose to ignore the prompting, thinking that by doing so it may disappear because, after all, He would NEVER ask me to do something uncomfortable, right?  Things such as…

• “You need to make a phone call and get things right with that person.”
• “You need to memorize more Scripture.”
• “I want you to be more generous—and here is your opportunity.”
• “Witness to that person.”
• “Tell Lucretia that you are sorry and that it was your fault.”
• “Call that person and ask them how they are doing.”

I think you get the picture.

One of the things I am really wrestling with right now is desperately trying to practice immediate obedience…that whenever I hear the voice of the Lord I don’t ask for an explanation or an time extension…I just obey.

Because…

I am learning more and more that God’s holiness impacts every aspect of His being…even what He commands of His children.  SO…when He speaks to me what He is commanding me to do is an extension of His holiness and perfection; therefore, He can be completely trusted!

Is there anything you are putting off that God keeps pressing in on you?  He’s not going to change His mind.  The key to freedom in this life we are living is to stop trying to negotiate with Him and just obey—period.

How Often Do We Tell Him? June 18, 2009

The other day I was standing in Charisse’s play room and she came up to me and kept saying, “I love you, I love you…” over and over again.

I thought to myself, “hearing my child say that NEVER gets old!”

Then I felt the Lord speak to me and say, “it never gets old to Me either!”

I am so guilty of telling God I love Him right before I ask for something or when I am really sorry about a sin that I have committed…but…

I am understanding that He likes it best when I communicate my love to Him out of appreciation for who He is and what He has done…and not in desperation in hopes of manipulation to get Him to do what I want.

When was the last time you thanked God for all that you have…or simply said “I love you” just because?

He is the perfect Father…so He KNOWS when we are trying to “butter Him up!”  AND…I am guessing it doesn’t really work with Him.

My prayer is that I will become more desperately in love with HIM because of WHO HE IS and not because of what I perceive He can give me!  And a way to make sure that happens is to offer consistent and sincere praise and thankfulness to the ONE who has blessed me with more than I could ever imagine!

Asking God To Destroy Me! June 16, 2009

I shaved my gottee the other day…and didn’t really say anything to anyone about it.  I wanted to see if anyone noticed and what their reaction was…

And the most unique reaction came from Charisse.

Keep in mind that I have had a gottee since she was born…that’s the only way she’s ever known me.  Many times she has sat in my lap and played with my whiskers.

SO…after I shaved I walked into the living room and picked her up and began playing with her.  She drew back from me and stared…put her hand where my gottee used to be and felt that it was smooth…and then proceeded to FREAK OUT!

Seriously…I was worried about her for a second.  She wanted OUT of my arms because I had changed things up on her.  She was used to me being a certain way…and when that wasn’t a reality for her anymore she had a hard time dealing with it…

I think I’ve had the same experience with God many times!!!  I’ve thought of Him as being a certain way.  I’ve placed Him in a box and built up my beliefs based on who I think He is…and He just keeps destroying my limited ideas and revealing Himself to me in ways I’ve never thought about…

Which makes me VERY uncomfortable…

One of the problems I believe I have had as a follower of Jesus is that I want to develop and idea of who God is and then have Him stay there…my desire for comfort has dominated my thinking…

But God never really invites us to a place of comfort…in fact, when He uses someone in the Scriptures He usually had to DESTROY a lot of their preconceived notions.  (Isaiah 6 and Acts 9 immediately come to mind.)

SO…my prayer lately has been, “God, teach me to see as You see…and destroy in me what needs to be destroyed  so that I can see you for who You are and not for who I want you to be!”

When is the last time you asked the Lord to make you uncomfortable?  To destroy you?  To reveal who HE IS to you rather than who you want Him to be?  WATCH IT…seeking the Lord like this is dangerous…it will propel you into an uncomfortable place…but it is in that place that He ruins us and then uses us to make a difference for Him!

Sometimes We Have To Face Our Fears March 19, 2009

God taught me yet another lesson through my little girl during the recent snow storm we had here in the upstate - There are times when He will place us right in the middle of what we fear the most to prove to us HIS power and also to show us that, many times, what we are fearing should not be feared at all.

Let me explain…

Lucretia got Charisse dressed the morning after it snowed and I took her outside.  She had a very confused look on her face while I tried to explain to her it was snow.

We stepped out in the yard and I put her down in the snow…she FREAKED OUT!  Seriously, it was a complete meltdown…she was scared out of her mind because I had placed her in an environment with which she was not familiar…and it made her VERY uncomfortable.

SO…I scooped her up and gave her a huge hug, told her it would be alright and then walked around in the snow holding her.

She was fine as long as I held her…so…I decided to try to put her down again…and she began freaking out before her feet ever touched the ground!

I tried reasoning with her.  I explained to her that the snow would not hurt her.  I told her I would be right there with her…but none of that brought her any level of comfort…she didn’t want to get in the snow.

After about 10 minutes I decided that she had to get over her fears.  (I didn’t want us to have the kid that pee’d her pants every time i snowed and refused to go outside!)  I knew the snow would not hurt her…I knew I would be right there with her…and I knew the ONLY way for her to get past this was to face her fear head on.

SO…I put her down in the snow, took five steps and then turned around and looked at her.

Yes, she cried.  Yes, my heart was hurting to see her cry…but I told her, “Charisse, walk to daddy.”  She proceeded to hold out her arms to me…but me picking her up would not have helped her get past something that didn’t need to hold her captive.

So…I said once again, “Charisse, walk to daddy–there is nothing to be afraid of.”

All of a sudden she stopped crying, she literally just cut it off.  (Isn’t it funny how kids can do that?)  And then she took a step…then another…then another until she finally made it to me (to which I DID pick her up and give her a big hug.)

Afterwards she looked at me and said, “down!”  (Which means please put me down!)  I said, “do you want to play in the snow?”  And she nodded her head yes!

For the rest of the morning she and I played in the snow and had a blast…we built a snowman, I pulled Lucretia and her on the sled…it was awesome!  What once held her captive was now something she rejoiced in!
BUT…it would not have been possible had I not, as her father, been willing to place her in an environment that forced her to overcome a fear that had no place having any control over her life.

I think the Lord does the same thing for HIS children.

So many times I have found myself held captive by fear…the ungodly kind.  The kind of fear that paralyzes…thoughts like…

• “What if I am single for the rest of my life?”
• “What if I try this tithing thing and go broke?”
• “What if something happens to me and I cannot provide for my family?”
• “What if I go on this mission trip and something bad happens to me?”
• “What if I write this blog post and people take shots at me?”
• “What if I preach this sermon and people get mad and leave?”
• “What if I make this highly unpopular leadership decision and cause a great degree of uncomfortability?”

You see where I am going, right?  We’ve all allowed fear (the wrong kind) to control us to the point to where we beg God to pick us up and make all of the bad stuff go away.

BUT…I believe that many times Jesus puts us right in the middle of the situation we fear the most to prove His power, His faithfulness and to remind us that we are to fear HIM above anyone and anything.

I have learned that when a situation keeps reoccuring in my life that causes me fear and makes me uncomfortable…it is my Heavenly Father placing me in the middle of that fear to help me overcome it.  AND…He will keep doing so until I choose to trust Him rather than fear my circumstances.

He’s faithful…and if you are fearful just remember…He’s right there, drawing you to Himself and trying to teach you that by keeping your eyes on Him…there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.