Leading On Empty April 15, 2009

A few years ago I had the privilege of meeting Pastor Wayne Cordeiro at a Leadership Network meeting in Dallas…and the Lord used him that day to both challenge and encourage me in incredible ways.

Recently, through a recommendation by Bob, I picked up his book, “Leading on Empty,”…and COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN!

• You can order it here
• OR…you can order it here

If you are a senior pastor…seriously…I can’t say this strong enough–GET THIS BOOK ASAP…GET AWAY BY YOURSELF…AND READ IT! Pastor Wayne does an outstanding job of talking about leadership burnout from the senior pastors’ perspective…and how it can be prevented.

(Reading the book made such an impact on me personally I bought a copy for everyone on our SMT…and also for the guys who were in my last coaching network.  BTW…if you were in my last coaching network and haven’t gotten your copy–get in touch with Lindsay and she will take care of you.)

Pastors–here’s the deal…MOST people do not understand us!  In fact, I’ve always said it takes a pastor to understand a pastor.  Well, Wayne is a pastor’s pastor.  Here are a few highlights from the book…

• “We don’t forget that we are Christians.  We forget that we are human, and that one oversight alone can debilitate the potential of our future.”
• “Pastors are expected to lead even when the desire or inclination to do so is severely challenged.  I knew others loved me, but living up to the expectations systemically ingrained into the fabric of who I was became the person I could not escape.”
• “Gradually my creativity began to flag, and I found it easier to imitate rather than innovate.  I was backing away from the very things that used to challenge and invigorate me.”
• “Zeal and good intentions can fuel us in the beginning, but they won’t last over the long haul…high self expectations can eventually eat full time shepherds alive.”
• “I was fixing everybody’s problems except my own, and I needed time to replenish my spirit.”
• “I wonder how much more effective our churches would be if we made the pastor’s spiritual health–not the pastor’s efficiency–our number one priority.”  Quote from Philip Yancy in the book
• “In a sense, a pastor never punches out.  Of course some may, but for those who see their profession as a calling, they simply cannot.”
• “Many times we won’t make major course corrections until the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of making the change.”
• “While everyone in our great church loves the Cordeiro family, I have come to realize that nobody is fighting for my family.  That’s my job.”
• “Yesterday’s great ideas get tired today, and churches, even great ones, can get tired.  Without wise and hungry leaders, a church’s endeavors will flatline.”

I could go on and on…TRUST ME…GET THIS BOOK!!!

Mad Church Disease…Do You Have It? January 13, 2009

One of the things that pastors and church leaders tell others to do is be honest about where they are in life…but very few of us follow our own advice.  AND…when someone steps up and IS honest it usually makes us all quite uncomfortable.

I think one of the things that we, as church leaders, need to be is more real…and that is why I am so thankful that Anne Jackson had the courage to write Mad Church Disease.

WARNING…if you are a church leader who wishes to remain dysfunctional and co-dependent on the affirmation of others then you probably do not need to read this book!  If you “have the spiritual gift of BS” and love to pretend that you have it all together all of the time…DO NOT even entertain reading what she wrote because…

It will convict you…challenge you…but hopefully it will give you permission to seek the help that you desperately need so that you can be more effective in your work for Jesus and His kingdom.
I emailed Anne and asked her, “Why did you write this book?’  Below is her response.  Thanks Anne for being honest…some morons will not like it…but others will be rescued because of it!

Anne’s response to, “Why did you write this book?”

Why did I write this book?  Well, there were a few reasons:

1. I’M A PREACHER’S KID.  Enough said…Just kidding. Kind of.  Seriously…that has a lot to do with it! :)
2. WE’RE OUT TO BE DESTROYED – Not to be Debbie Downer here, but John 10:10 says that the enemy is ONLY out to steal, kill and destroy us.  That’s his only mission – to take down the light and hope of the world.  I really think that we don’t take this seriously enough and little by little, he wins.  If we’re not able to love ourselves the way God intended, we can’t love others the way God intended.  Physically, we’re in our worst shape ever…emotionally, it’s so easy to escape when we’re under pressure…relationally, we isolate because we’re afraid…and spiritually, it’s hard to just spend time resting in God’s sovereignty. The stats don’t lie. The average pastor is more unhealthy than the average American and it’s the younger pastors that are doing the worst.  We’re falling apart and we’re falling apart alone. It’s happened to me and it’s happened to so many of my friends.  I’ve read literally thousands of emails of people sharing their stories of burnout with me.  Mad Church Disease truly an epidemic!
3. WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT! – Generally speaking, most people in ministry feel like they have to exhibit a professional spiritual front….we pretend we have it all together when in reality, we’re keeping quiet about the areas we’re struggling in.  We feel like we have to have it all together in order to lead, and if we were really honest and maybe even confessed something, we’d lose our jobs or be removed from our positions of leadership.  By keeping our junk inside, we’re operating in our own strength (not to mention we’re sinning!) and we disconnect from our relationship with Christ.  That relationship is necessary to fulfill His purpose in our life (John 15:5).   It’s my hope that this book will challenge people to have conversations they wouldn’t normally have and in the process, get healthy and set examples for others to be healthy.
4. BUT THERE’S HOPE – Personally, I hit rock bottom in 2005.  I was so stressed out I ended up hospitalized for a week because my abdominal cavity was inflamed.  They couldn’t find one thing causing it though, but stress.  I was so depressed and anxious there were times I couldn’t leave my own bed.  I had pushed my friends and husband away and was losing faith in God.  I finally gave up and got help.  And three years later, after a LOT of counseling, some medication, and intentionally surrounding myself with people who love me (and come after me if I try and run!) I have experienced the hope and the joy that comes with living out God’s purpose in your life.  I am not perfect, I screw up and I’ve been close to burning out a few times…but in the end, I’ve learned about what God intends for sacrifice…and rest…and purpose…and I just feel honored to have this opportunity to share what God’s done through my failure.  It actually takes getting off your arse and doing something though…there’s no magic pill.  But hopefully this book will inspire people to start talking about this…and ultimately, to be healthy enough to love God…and love others!

You Have Got To Read This Book June 9, 2006

Last September I had the privilege of meeting Mark Driscoll, lead pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington. (They have a podcast–I would highly recommend it!) It was an awesome experience to meet with this guy for two reasons…#1, he is the real deal, what you see (and hear) is what you get–he’s not a “Christian all-star celebrity”…and #2, I had been listening to his messages on-line for so long–it was cool to discover that this dude really did exist.

Mark has written a couple of books–but the one I want to talk about is his latest one, “Confessions of a Reformission Rev.” I know I say this a lot–but if you are a pastor–or you love and care for one–you have GOT TO READ THIS BOOK!!! (Here is the link if you want to order it!)

If you have ever listened to Mark preach then you know he is honest and straightforward. This guys main concern is not making sure people are happy and church politics–he preaches from the Bible and all he talks about is Jesus–which is an awesome thing.

Mark is VERY transparent in this book about his struggles as a pastor. Let me say this–if you are considering going into the ministry…READ THIS BOOK! Mark tells you some things that seminary will not teach you. He speaks of the sexual temptation, burnout, struggles in his marriage, satanic attacks–I am serious folks–it is intense!!!

(Let me just say that I agree with Jonathan that one of the best parts of the book is when he talks about a time when he had “the runs” and decided to preach anyway…and then 15 minutes into his message he crapped his pants! I won’t tell you the rest–you’ve got to read it for yourself–and you will laugh out loud!!!)

I have serious ADD…and so I made the decision about a year ago that if a book did not captivate my attention in the first three chapters that I was not going to read it. Mark definitely had my attention…and he kept it throughout the book. It is an easy read–but please don’t take that as meaning it is not challenging. I have plans on reading it again and possibly taking my lead team through it together.

People always ask me when they read a book that I recommend, “Did you agree with everything in the book?” The answer is always no; however, in this book the issues that I disagree with Mark on are merely a personal preference or two…and I will not elaborate any further. One of the problems with Christians today I feel is that we claim to love Jesus…but we will get mad at people when they don’t think and act exactly like us! Mark is in love with Jesus and is reaching people in Seattle–which by defalt means that he gets to drink Starbucks coffee–which makes me very jealous!!!

Let me share two of my favorite quotes with you from the book…

#1 - In regards to what he discovered when visiting other churches…and the disappointment he faced…

“The woman pastor of this church, wearing a very nice, flowing, cutting-edge-of-the-1536 robe, talked about rainbows for twenty minutes while sixty or so very old people who were former classmates of Noah and eyewitnesses to the covenant rainbow sat scattered among one thousand seats or so and napped in Jesus’ name. Between her sermonette, the written literature I picked up told me how to bequeath my estate to the church when I die, and looking around the room at the equilevent of a Viagra before-photo of lifeless geriatrics. I truly could not discern why that church existed. The closest I came to finding someone with a mission was the children’s pastor, namely the meek husband of the senior pastor in pumps, who said his goal was to make his wife happy, which made me very sad.”

#2 - In regards to challenging men to become men!!!

“Things were starting to get out of hand with the men, so I called a meeting and demanded that all of the men in our church attend. I preached for more than two hours about manhood and basically gave the dad talk to my men for looking at porno, sleeping with young women, not serving Christ, not working hard at their jobs, and so on. I demanded that the men who were with me on our mission to change the city stay and that the rest leave the church and stop getting in the way because you can’t charge hell with your pants around your ankles, a bottle of lotion in one hand, and a Kleenex in the other.”

I could list more…but you’ve got to read it for yourself–excellent read!