To be honest–I got lost in that moment. She didn’t look away–she didn’t even hardly blink–she just stared right at me and I nearly melted right there. There is NOTHING that pleases a father more than when he has the undivided attention of his child. I will have to say that up until this point it was probably the most special time I have had with just she and I…and I felt SO connected with her.

Walking out of her room down the steps I felt the Lord whisper to me, “Hey Perry, that is what I want with you! Not some ritual…but an intimate connection.”

From time to time I get caught up in “having a quiet time” just to say I had one? Sure, a verse or two will stand out to me…but if I am not careful I will forget that my time with God in the mornings isn’t about a spiritual to do list–it is about a connection…a connection that I need and God wants.

God doesn’t want our lip service–He wants our undivided attention. And that is SO hard in today’s society–everything competes with our time with Him…ESPECIALLY technology. I just know that what I experienced with my daughter was REAL…and the Lord used it in my life to show me that I need to take my walk with Him to the next level!

Then I was reminded of Jesus–the Bible says in Luke 5:16 that He often withdrew to lonely places and prayed–translation–He got alone and LOCKED EYES with His Father…amazing! We see this again in Mark 1:35 where the Bible says that the first thing in the morning Jesus went to a solitary place to lock eyes with His Father…and the result was direction and power. (See Mark 1:36-39)

BUT–I believe the most intimate and challenging time Jesus had with the Father was in the garden of Gethsemane where we see Him praying in Matthew 26:36-45 one of THE most unselfish, sold out prayers EVER recorded in history. Translation–when we LOCK EYES with the Father there is NOTHING that we are not willing to do for Him!
My prayer lately has been that I will have my eyes LOCKED–focused on Him! It blows my mind that He wants that–and I know I need it!!! I never want to merely offer God lip service–He knows my heart. My desire is to LOCK EYES with Him and then to do whatever He asks…how about you?

This is what she wore the first Sunday she came to NewSpring.

BEAUTIFUL!!!

Here is one of my favorites!!!

And finally–this one concerned me a little–if you will look at her left hand then it would seem she is already using non-verbal communication in a not nice way!!!

AND…one of the things I have learned recently is that God often has a unique was of communicating with His people…yes, He speaks through His Word and the Holy Spirit and church–but sometimes He speaks in unmistakable ways that are unique and awesome.

Let me share an experience that I recently had.

Back in May I began listening to the Rascal Flats song, “My Wish.”  (AWESOME SONG!)  Every time I heard it my mind automatically went to my daughter, Charisse – who had not yet been born.  It made me think about how God has a plan for her life and that my wish is for her to succeed in life.

Well, on May 22 of this past year my world got ROCKED.  I was in a senior management team meeting and left for a second to go to my office.  When I got there I saw Lucretia sitting at my desk with a very concerned look on her face.

My heart fell into my stomach!  I knew she had just been to the doctors office to get an ultrasound done on Charisse because she hadn’t felt her moving a whole lot and we wanted to make sure things were ok.

Things were not ok!

Lucretia was told that her amniotic fluid was low – extremely low; in fact, we had been ordered to see a specialist the next morning so that a special ultrasound could be done.  The doctors were concerned because low amniotic fluid can be damaging.  AND…I was NOT at peace, when you hear the words “possible brain damage” associated with your child…I don’t care who you are–your faith takes a hit!  MINE DID!

I was speechless.  I wanted to tell ‘Cretia everything was going to be alright…but I could not speak.  There was a lump in my throat.  I knew I was supposed to be strong–but in that moment I felt weak and vulnerable.  ‘Cretia, on the other hand, was a rock!  She said, “Perry, I know this is from the Lord.  And no matter what happens with this–He is still God!”

We prayed and then she went and got in her car and I headed for mine.  On the way I prayed, “God, I REALLY need to hear from You!  Seriously…this hurts…I am scared and I need to know everything is going to be ok.”

Right when I got in the car and cranked it up – BAM – “My Wish” by Rascal Flats was on the radio and I lost it!  Hollywood could not have scripted that moment any better…it was amazing.  AND…in that moment I had a peace that I cannot explain…it was like God was saying to me, “I STILL have a plan and I AM STILL GOD!!!”

Seriously, it was one of those moments I will never forget…and now every time I hear that song I get all teary eyed!  I know God has a plan for my little girl…and He used Rascal Flats to confirm it.

I know that for some this story seems a little funky…but for me it is one of the most real moments I have ever had.  God wants to communicate to His kids…and do it in a way that they can understand.  I seek His face every morning…and all throughout the day I am begging to hear His voice.  BUT…sometimes, for no known reason, God will use unique circumstances to communicate His powerful love in an unforgettable way…I know He did for me–and I will never forget it.

God is ALWAYS speaking…are we open to hear His voice?

Charisse makes friends quickly–here she is hanging out with Jordyn!

And finally–this one was so cute–I just had to share it!!!

Please pray for me–she smiled at me for the first time the other night and my heart melted…I think we are going to go and buy her a car tomorrow!!! :-)

Hope you like the picture…it was snapped on our back deck. It was so crazy driving home from the hospital…I don’t think I’ve ever been that careful in my life!

As we have been home there have been several things happen and quite a few discoveries made…I will try to share a few…

• Today I saw what projectile crap looks like! Lucretia was changing Charisse’s diaper and our beautiful little girl fired a poo poo missile at my wife…I’ve never seen anything like it.
• ‘Cretia is recovering very well from her C-section! Continue to keep her in your prayers.
• Charisse continues to enjoying taking a pee on me when I change her diaper.
• She does not like having a blanket on her! We put one on her at night and when we wake her up for her feeding she has usually kicked it off. (This is evidence that she is my child!)
• There is a car seat in my Yukon…no matter how manly your car looks…once you put the car seat in then you just can’t look cool anymore.
• Despite being pee’d on–changing diapers isn’t that bad…BUT…and just being honest here–I will probably never desire mustard again. (If you need an explanation then forget it!!!)
• There is NOTHING like having my little girl look at me in the eyes. She already has my heart!
• I bought her a rose on the day she was born…some young punk isn’t going to be the first guy to give her flowers…she’s getting them from me every year…all the time!!!
• I think Charisse is looking more and more like Lucretia…which is an answer to prayer–I begged God to let her look like ‘Cretia and not like me…I would make one ugly female!!!
• Someone told me that one day she will be dating and that I should be scared…I told them that does not scare me because I am willing to start a prison ministry because of her!!!

AND finally…Lucretia and I gave Charisse a bath last night–I just had to show this picture. How could you NOT love a girl this awesome!!!

• So far I have changed every diaper that Charisse has demolished!!! AND I haven’t minded at all…I want her to be clean…that is how God feels about cleaning us up, He actually became sin for us! (II Corinthians 5:21)
• All I want to do is hold her…be close to her…and freeze those moments. God has those same desires, for His children to be close to Him! He sent Jesus to die on a cross NOT just so that we go to heaven…but to have an ongoing relationship with us!!!
• Charisse does not completely understand all of the good things that I want to do for her…she never will, and I think we have no idea what wonderful things God has in mind. (Matthew 7:11)
• There is NOTHING I would not do for her–NOTHING! That is how God feels about blessing His kids! (Psalm 2:8)
• In cleaning her up I have had to put her in uncomfortable situations…but only because I love her and want her to be clean. That is why God takes us through uncomfortable situations. We don’t understand…but it is all for our own good. (Romans 8:28)
• There is NOTHING that Charisse could do to make me stop loving her–that is how God feels about His children. (Romans 8:38-39)
• Charisse has not worked for my love, she was born. that’s it–we do not work for the love of God. He just radically loves us!!! (John 3:3, John 3:16)

Dang–this fatherhood stuff is awesome–speaking of that here is me and my daughter!

I am REALLY looking forward to speaking on Sunday!

Mommy and baby are both great–daddy, on the other hand, feels like he could run a marathon RIGHT NOW! Holy cow–this is AWESOME! WOW! YEAH GOD!!! How in the world can anyone witness the birth of a child and deny that HE exists!!!

I can’t wait to preach on Sunday…and YES, I WILL HAVE PICTURES!

Here’s one for now! Thanks for the prayers.

Oh yeah, two more things…

#1 – No flowers please!!! We ask that, if you really want to send something, please send a restaurant gift card to the office–that way we can grub and ‘Cretia doesn’t have to eat my cooking.

#2 – No visitors please…mommy and baby need rest.

#5 – God has a plan for your life

In this part of the message I covered…

• That I am a Clemson fan…as all God’s children are–and that mommy is an FSU fan–and that we should pray for her! :-) Really though…she can pull for the team she chooses!
• Seriously, I told her that Lucretia and I both have preferences and dreams…but that OUR desire for her is that she pursue GOD’S plan for her life and not ours.
• I have seen so many parents try to live their lives through their children…the dad pushes the son to excel in sports, the mom pushes her daughter to enter the beauty contest…and the kid doesn’t want to do it…and when they try to talk to the parents they are made to feel guilty about not wanting to be all that the parent wants them to be. (And then the parent wonders when the kid becomes an adult why they never come back around!)
• I have seen parents manipulate their children…say things like, “If you will go to college and major in BLANK then I will pay for it–but if you major in that other thing–then you are on your own!” The problem with that is–what if “that other thing” is EXACTLY what God wants them to do?
• I understand that before Charisse was my daughter–she was God’s daughter. Ultimately she belongs to Him…I am merely a steward. AND I do not want to get in the way of HIS plans for her life.
• My job is not to dictate her future–but to teach her to fall in love with Jesus, listen to His voice…and then trust He will speak as clearly to her as He speaks to me.
• Jeremiah 29:11 tells us all that we are not an accident–He has a plan for her life–and I want her to embrace it!

#6 – I will always love you.

Some points from this section were…

• I told a story of when my dad bought a brand new 1974 bug and brought it home and began to do some work on it. While he was working he happened to hear REALLY loud noises coming from the front of the car. We he walked around there he saw me with a hammer and I was beating the snot out of his new car!!!
• NOW…he didn’t say, “Oh my–Perry is doing something wrong BUT I cannot correct him because, in doing so, I might damage his self esteem!” Trust me–he damaged my self esteem! I knew that beating the bug with a hammer was wrong when our “special time together” was over. He corrected me…BUT…
• HE NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME! He showed me why I was wrong–but did not say, “I am no longer your father…I don’t love you anymore because you did something stupid!” NO–after the correction he continued loving me–and growing up he OFTEN told me how much he loved me.
• Dads…you cannot tell your children “I love you” enough. Trust me–in working with children and teenagers for so long–one of the number one fears that they have is messing up so bad that their parents eventually hate them! (I literally had teens tell me their parents were going to hate them because of a bad grade!)
• A kid needs to be corrected–BUT also needs to know he/she is loved. Speeding tickets–car wrecks–putting the cat in the microwave–WHATEVER–dads, we need to ALWAYS communicate to our kids that there is NOTHING they can do to make us stop loving them!
• One more thing–I am sick and tired of the men who refuse to do this because “their daddy didn’t do this for them.” BE A MAN–tell your kids you love them–A LOT!!!

#7 – Heaven Is Real–Be There!

And finally–some thoughts here were…

• I know child birth is going to be a little crazy…and coming home with a baby is going to be both exciting and scary. But…
• I shared with my daughter that the first chance I had when we got home–I took her upstairs and sat down in a rocker with her and told her about Jesus. I knew she could not understand–but I wanted the first intimate daddy/daughter moment in our home to be me sharing Christ with her.
• I told her that everyday since I found out that she was on the way that I have prayed for her salvation. I want to see her know, love and serve Jesus all of her life–and there is NOTHING that will excite me more as a father to see her know her heavenly Father.
• It is my job as a father to be ready to share the Gospel with my daughter when she begins to ask questions.
• Parents–Dads–when is the last time you prayed to the Lord and asked Him to draw your child to Him, to save them, to make them a new person?
• When I get to heaven the first person I want to see is Jesus! BUT…we will have eternity to stroll around…and in that time I want to see my mother, friends and so on–but I told Charisse, “More than anything else in the world…I want to see you there…and I will wear myself out and search every corner of heaven until I find you!!!”

That’s it–it was a VERY emotional service for me…and I can’t wait to be a dad!!!

#3 – I Love This Church

Some points I hit here were…

• I told her, “Charisse, it is the year 2019 when you are watching this–and we are getting ready to celebrate our 20th anniversary in the Bi-Lo center in Greenville–and we are going to have to have around 15 services to accommodate the 150,000 to 200,000 people who are going to attend.”
• I also told her that MOST people at NewSpring believed that was going to happen (as was evidenced by the number of people who applauded) but that some did not–and that they were not at our church anymore…OR that they left and came because they finally discovered that the church was not supposed to be an inward focused organization where “everybody knows everybody,” that the body of Christ was more than a stained glass fortress with a steeple…that we are supposed to be about reaching people!!!
• I told the church that I LOVE the church–that I eat, sleep and breathe NewSpring–BUT…that the church will NEVER come before my family!
• I told Charisse, “When it comes to choosing between your birthday party and a church event–YOU WIN! When it comes between your soccer game and a church event–YOU WIN! I can get another church but I can never get another you!” (By the way–when I said this our entire church applauded!)
• Recently I had a couple ask me, “How are you going to prevent your kids from being the typical pastors kid?” I replied, “I am going to be there for her. You see, most pastors spend all their time with everyone’s children except for their own…and that just isn’t going to be me!”
• I then talked about how most men DIVE into a career and leave their family behind. Men will work themselves into a frenzy and then say, “I just want to give my children all the things I never had,” when what he really truly never had was a father who was THERE…and that is all he ever wanted.
• Psalm 127:3 says children are a reward from the Lord–and you treat a reward with great honor…you don’t stick it in the corner and buy it something every once in a while to make it shut up!
• Men, we will be held accountable one day BY GOD as to how we led our families…and you can’t lead something if you are not spending time with it!!!

#4 – I Will Always Love Your Mother!

Some key points here were…

• The story of how I pursued Lucretia for two years before she even agreed to GO OUT WITH ME! AND…how it was worth every single minute. (And I would do it all again!)
• I didn’t say this–but I should have–single guys…I pursued her because she never told me “no–get away from me you creep!” We prayed through this together. If you are “pursuing” a girl and she avoids you, changes her number and has taken out a restraining order against you then you are NOT being “persistent,” but rather A FREAK and should STOP IT!!!!
• The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 that a child is going to GO one day. I told Charisse that I knew she would one day leave the house…and that when that happened I didn’t want to look at Lucretia and say, “Now who are you?”
• I’ve seen the mistake so many times…the kid arrives and the woman pours into the child while the dad pours into the career…and the family falls completely apart.
• I think that men should be responsible for elevating the romance in a home–men, what you did to get her, do the same to keep her. Stop being freakin’ lazy–PURSUE YOUR WIFE!!! This means…
• Have a date night…a night where you leave your “batman utility belt” with all of your devices that enslave you to your job in the car…and you go to a restaurant and talk to your wife!!!
• Ladies–it means you do not call the babysitter ever 10 minutes to check on the kid!!! Talk to your husband.
• I heard a friend of mine say once, “You can pay the babysitter now or the divorce lawyers later!” Ouch!
• Will your child cry when you leave? Probably–it’s a great chance to “disciple” your child about how the world does not revolve around them!!!
• I also told Charisse that once a year Lucretia and I are going to go on a really nice vacation somewhere–WITHOUT HER!!! I said, “You see Charisse–we really want you to have a little brother or sister one day…” :-)
• Dads–the BEST THING you can do in order to provide security for your home is LOVE YOUR WIFE!!!
• This is sad…very sad, because many men have abandoned their families…I heard a stat today that 40% of kids go to bed each night in a home WITHOUT a father. Men, this is hard–it takes GUTS…that is why a lot of men BAIL OUT…they are the little boys that refused to grow up–LOVE your wife…spend time with your kids!!!

Some key points in this section were…

• Told a story of the first time I was on a skateboard…and how halfway down the hill I had this thought, “I don’t know how to stop this thing!”
• The situation above is what can be described as an “Oh crap” moment…and…as a parent, life is FULL of them!
• Up until this time in life Lucretia and I have always looked at other kids who freak out in public places and thought, “Someone ought to do something about that.” BUT NOW that is going to be OUR KID!!! Oh crap!
• For the most part I see over and over again that parents, at some point, feel overwhelmed as to HOW to handle a particular situation…in their minds they are saying, “Oh crap.” AND–the good news is that we are NOT called to do this alone!
• Scripture says in James 1:5 that if we lack wisdom (even as a parent) that we should ask God–and that He will pour His wisdom out on us!!! We are NOT ALONE!
• I think the reason a lot of parents are frustrated with parenting is because they refuse to ask for God’s help on a DAILY basis…they only go to Him during their “oh crap” moments. Personally…I think seeking HIS wisdom more often leads to less “oh crap” moments
• I told my daughter that there will not be one single day go by without asking God to show me how to be her father!

#2 – Many Boys Are Jerks–Do Not Settle!

Some key points here were…

• I had a staff member tell me he would change it to “all boys are jerks…and God happens to redeem a few.” I agree!!!
• The problem with many single Christian ladies is the temptation to settle. In a recent survey I saw where 60% of the Christians in America are female…so…many of them feel like that have to take what they can get.
• I told Charisse, “Honey–it is the year 2019 right now…and many of the single ladies here are more in love with the idea of being in a relationship and being married MORE than they are in love with Jesus, and so, they settled…and during the past 12 years many of them are now divorced and have experienced some serious pain in their lives…all because they didn’t have high standards.”
• The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to so much more than we could ever ask or imagine…so single ladies should set incredibly high standards…and then watch God blow them out of the water.
• Lucretia, my wife, said the following question should be asked before entering ANY serious relationship! “Is this the kind of love God meant when He created Adam and Eve, the kind between two people that truly reflects His love for us (the I Corinthians 13 kind), or are you settling for less than God’s immeasurably more than anything you can ask or imagine?”
• What should a man be? What am I looking for in a man who will win the heart of my daughter? (Yes, I will make that call…I am her father!)
• A Priest – he needs to be in love with Jesus and know God’s Word. I tell single guys all the time that the best thing they can do to prepare themselves for marriage is to read the Bible over and over again…to memorize it…AND to apply it!!! If a guy doesn’t know Scripture–he cannot spiritually lead my daughter, and I will show him the door. I said in one service, “If he isn’t willing to go through the book of Leviticus for you then he isn’t worthy of you!” :-)
• A Protector – if a guy EVER puts a lady into a situation where she feels compromised emotionally, physically or spiritually…then he is NOT a godly man, he is actually acting more like satan–seeking to manipulate her to fulfill his own selfish desires. A true man of God protects a woman AND her reputation. It was also here that I said if a boy ever puts here into a situation like I just described…then I will put him into a “situation” that will allow me to begin a prison ministry.
• A Provider – I told my little girl, “Don’t bring home some broke boy that I am going to have to support and who wants to live in my basement!” I want my little girl to date a marry a man who has dreams AND A JOB!!! Single guys–WORK!!! And do not e-mail me telling me that a job isn’t important–that is why you are single you moron!!! Fall in love with Jesus–treat women like women should be treated in the eyes of God–and WORK to provide for her!!!
• I told Charisse that I want great grandkids one day…and that we can’t get racehorses breeding with mules…so date and marry a godly man!!!