7 Differences Between A Coach And A Critic - Part Three
#4 – A Coach Has Earned Respect – A Critic Has Not.
I’ve said it before, let me say it again, there has NEVER been a player on the field that accomplished more than he ever dreamed because he stopped playing the game, took off his helmet and walked over to the stands (bypassing his coaches) to see what everyone thought about his performance.
When it comes to correction…there has got to be a level of respect before you will listen to anyone. AND…great players always respect their coaches.
What’s crazy is a critic will scream they have a right to be heard…which is insane because if anyone took them seriously they would not be demanding that “right.”
You would not take financial advice from a guy who keeps going bankrupt, you would not take marriage advice for a guy who has blown through five marriage…why in the world would a leader listen to someone who have never done anything respect worthy?
When it comes to leadership…listen to the people who have actually led something. (AND it does not matter the size of whatever they led. One of my greatest mentors/coaches pastors a church of 300 people, another guy mentors me and never had more than 150 people in his church…but they are GREAT men of God who love Jesus, love me…and actually lead!)
When it comes to speaking…listen to people who actually speak. It blows my mind that there are dudes on the internet who tear apart sermons from a speaker AFTER they speak…DUH…it doesn’t take a freakin’ genius to do that! I once heard a coach say, “Don’t tell me what I should have done after the game…I know what I should have done!”
By the way…pastor, the only reason people have time to tear apart your sermons is because MOST of them have never preached one! It’s like the fat guy with a cheeseburger in the stands at a ball game who never even played pop warner, but seems to know everything the team on the field needs to do! Crazy!
#5 – A Coach Will Handle Things Privately – A Critic Will Always Go Public.
Watching the coaches make corrections during the course of the game has been a great thing for me to watch because…when they do so they approach the player, pull him off to the side and deal with the issue man to man.
I have NEVER seen a great coach who was serious about the game take control of the PA system and announce to the entire crowd what the problem is and publically tear the players performance and character to pieces. That type of behavior would be shocking at a sporting event…but seems to be normal in church world.
There is a reason this happens…stick with me as I explain. A coach actually cares about the player getting things right…but a critic is most often doing nothing except seeking a platform for himself. He doesn’t want to sincerely address the issue and work towards a resolution…but rather wants to be recognized.
I know this because on quite a few occasions I have personally emailed certain critics and asked them to enter into a private dialogue about their concerns. I also have several friends who have attempted the same. And every time (with one exception) the critic has requested a public forum for debate of some sort. It is obvious in most instances that the critic doesn’t want to solve the issue but rather make a name for himself.
My question has always been…if the critic wants to sincerely resolve the issue…then why the necessity to go public? Why ask me to do a guest blog…and then I can do one on yours? Why request that the meeting take place in front of an audience instead of one on one? (Yes, that request has been made, I am NOT making that up!)
Never trust someone who is not willing to sit down with you one and one and point out their perceived issues. And NEVER trust anyone who uses the means of the internet to do nothing but attack you and tear you apart.