How Pastors (And Everyone) Can Build A Marriage That Will Last – Part Three August 27, 2009
#4 – Work
When the builders show up next door they don’t just walk in the house and lay down and begin to pray that the work will get done…they walk onto the property ready to work.
Unfortunately the reason so many pastors marriages go bad is that they are willing to pray for their marriage…but unwilling to roll up their sleeves and actually work on it.
Like I have alluded to before…pastors know how to work on the Bride of Christ…they just don’t know how to work on the bride the Lord has given them…and that needs to be repented of!
Guys…what matters to your wife? What does she consider to be romantic? What does she consider to be fun?
The bottom line is this…in my marriage Lucretia defines success for me—that’s it! She is the one who lets me know if I am being successful as a husband…or if I am being slack.
And pastor—YOUR marriage WILL TAKE WORK. We can’t complain about how bad our marriage is if we haven’t given our best effort.
So…ask yourself that question…are you giving your marriage the very best you’ve got…or are you giving your wife leftovers and expecting her to give you a feast?
#5 – Invite others to help
The house next door has a leader who heads up the project…but he isn’t going at it alone. If one dude tried to build the house it would take FOREVER to get it done…and maybe he might not ever finish it because there are just some things that a man can’t do alone.
One of a man’s BIGGEST sins (including pastors) is the issue of PRIDE! We HATE admitting we’re in over our heads. We HATE saying that there is a problem that we just can’t handle…but reality is…God didn’t intend for us to do life alone.
How exactly does this apply to marriage? Simple…two ways…
The first is…if you are struggling in your marriage…ASK FOR HELP! I don’t care if you are the freakin pastor…GET HELP NOW! James 5:16 tells us to confess sin to one another and pray for one another. Hebrews 10:24-25 tells us we need others in our lives to SPUR and ENCOURAGE us!
Dude…there is TOO MUCH AT STAKE to let your pride get in the way of you getting help. Don’t allow your stupidity to shipwreck the faith of so many people.
Let me say it again…if you need help…ASK FOR IT! The only reason a person in the body of Christ EVER has to drown is because they don’t have the courage to ask for a life preserver!
The second is…spend time with people who have an awesome marriage. Take them out to dinner and ask them a lot of questions. It’s amazing what we can learn from others who have gone before us.
The third is…(I know I said two)…read as much as you can about marriage. Many of us have recommended lots of books to others…but have you actually read them and followed the advice yourself?
We NEED each other…unfortunately, LOTS of pastors have buddies—very few actually have friends, which makes this hard. We should seek to establish deep friendships and be willing to be transparent with those closest to us…like I said, we can’t make it on our own.