Three Ways Wives Can Have More Sex With Their Husbands November 26, 2008

To be fair…I thought I should blog about the other aspect of this relationship/sex thing…here goes…

#1 – Check and see if he is awake!

#2 – If he is…simply tell him you would like to have sex.

#3 – If he isn’t just whisper the word “sex!”  He will immediately wake up…when he does just tell him you would like to have sex.

That’s it!

Five Ways Husbands Can Have More Sex With Their Wives – Part Two November 26, 2008

Here’s the second part…

#4 – Spoil Her!!!  

When was the last time you did something “over the top” for your wife…with NO STRINGS ATTACHED?

When was the last time you gave her a foot rub…and didn’t expect a “favor” in return?

When was the last time you let her sleep late and handled the responsibility of the kids all by yourself?

When was the last time you have her a backrub…with NO STRINGS ATTACHED?

Here’s the deal…if you are doing something “for her” with “selfish motivations,” SHE KNOWS!  SHE’S SMART!

BUT…if we as husbands make it our PRIORITY to absolutely SPOIL our wives…that will naturally overflow into them wanting to spoil us!!!  We’ve GOT to take the lead on this!!!

#5 – Treasure Her!!!

We can’t make the sexual experience ALL ABOUT US!  We can’t reduce her to a sex object.  We can’t ONLY show her attention when “we want it!”

It is our responsibility before God to VALUE her, to TREASURE her, to see her as a daughter of THE MOST HIGH GOD!

Does your wife feel TREASURED?  (Ask her!)

Let me make you a promise…a wifes perceived value will most likely be determined by how much undivided attention she receives from YOU!!!

That means no freakin’ cell phone when you two are on a date!

Heck, that means actually getting a babysitter and GOING on a date!

Here’s a question to ask her (which will require you to listen to her answer!)  What are some things that I do that make you feel valued and treasured?  And…after you ask this question…SHUT UP AND LISTEN!  Your wife has WAY MORE INSIGHT about what she needs than ANYONE else on the planet!

Whew…those are five things that I believe will help some of us guys out!  Enjoy!  :-)

Five Ways Husbands Can Have More Sex With Their Wives – Part One November 25, 2008

Here we go!  :-)

#1 – Serve Her!!!

The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:25 to love our wives as Jesus loves the church!  He modeled this love in John 13:1-5 in one of the most powerful examples of servanthood in the Scriptures!

Unfortunately, too many times we as husbands make the sexual experience all about us “being served” and not about doing all that we can to “give ourselves up” for our wife by placing her needs as a priority in our lives.

I had a friend once who, on honeymoon night, took his wife by the hand and led her into the bedroom…where he had a bowl of water and a towel.  He got down on his knees and said, “Scripture tells me to love you like Jesus loves the church.  He modeled that love for us in the Gospel of John when He washed the feet of the disciples.  I want to make it my goal in life to put your needs before mine, to serve you as best as I can.  And so right now, before anything else takes place tonight, I want to wash your feet as an example of how I plan on serving you for the rest of my life!”

DANG!!!

#2 – Talk To Her

When we get home after a long day…we should talk TO HER!  All too often we sum up our day in 30 seconds or less, then sit on the couch, expect her to have dinner ready, expect her to get the kids ready for bed…and then expect her to be “ready” in “30 seconds or less!”

BUT…one of the things that I am continually discovering is that my wife wants to have an emotional connection with me…and a lot of that happens as a result of me talking to her, telling her about my day…and including the details of things that take place.

I used to be HORRIBLE at this!  I didn’t realize it until we were in a group one time and people were saying things to her like, “Hey ‘Cretia, did Perry tell you about (BLANK),” and she would look at me and say, “No, I guess he hasn’t had time yet.”

Truth is…I didn’t MAKE the time to communicate with her, to tell her the details of my day…thus she didn’t feel as close to me.

So now…I MAKE IT a priority!  I don’t want her finding out about my day through other people…I want her to KNOW she’s important…and the formula I’ve discovered is DETAILS = IMPORTANT!

#3 – Listen To Her!!!

I once heard that the average man uses 5,000 words per day…and the average woman uses 10,000 with gusts up to 15,000!!!  Men, they use twice as many words!!!  Do you know why?

DETAILS = IMPORTANT!

When they are talking they want to communicate EVERYTHING to us…not because they want to bore us to death, but because they want us to FEEL like they FEEL!

SO…that means we can’t tell them, “Talk to me during the commercials please!”  That is NOT romantic!

We can’t sit there and zone out of the conversation with her and proceed to watch the movie on television we’ve seen 100 times and then think we’ve had “intimate” conversation!  Just doesn’t work!

We can’t ask them, “Does this story have an ending?  Can we get there please?”

“Well Perry,” you say, “it’s hard to be patient when she’s going on and on!”

I am quite sure God has felt the same way about us at times when we are talking to Him!

We’ve GOT to make time for the details!