Archive for April, 2008
Biggest Mistakes I’ve Made As A Leader–Part Two April 30, 2008
#3 – Thinking That I Could Do Things Better Than Other People–Thus Causing Me To Either Not Delegate OR Micromanage.
All leaders have a problem…we all think we can do (fill in the blank) better than the person who is doing it.
And…I would say that is a part of what God put into us as leaders. However, when we begin to constantly act on that belief it can cripple our church and demoralize those who work with us.
No one on the planet will ever do things the way I would do them. That is why it is totally necessary for me to make sure we always hire the best people possible, POUR extreme amounts of vision into them and cut them loose. That’s how the kingdom advances!
#4 – Wanting To Be Discovered Rather Than Being Devoted!
I believe that success is one of the most dangerous things that God could allow a person to have.
When NewSpring began to experience growth and God’s favor…I really felt like the rest of the church world needed to see what we were doing. I became obsessed with who (or who didn’t) know my name in the conference circles. I was hyper focused on how many hits my blog was getting. Basically…the ministry became WAY more about me and WAY less about Jesus.
Then the reality of John 3:30 hit me like a TON of bricks.
In 2005 I nearly lost my life…and it caused me to refocus on what really matters. At the end of the day I could really care less who knows my name…or who reads my blog…or if I ever speak at another conference. I am passionate about the four C’s…
- Christ
- Cretia
- Charisse
- Church
That’s it…at the end of the day I want to passionately love Jesus, love my wife like He loves me, love my little girl in a way that, when she gets old enough to really know me that she respects me…and lead NewSpring Church under the direction of HIS Holy Spirit to enlarge HIS kingdom and push back the gates of hell.
Biggest Mistakes I’ve Made As A Leader–Part One April 29, 2008
One of the privileges I have is getting to meet with and pour into the staff that God has given me the privilege of leading. About once a week I assemble a group of people who do not directly report to me for a time where we discuss leadership issues…they ask questions and I try my best to answer them. (God has placed some REALLY sharp people on this staff!)
One of the questions that often arises is, “What are some the biggest mistakes you would say you’ve made is a leader?” I thought I would take a shot at answering that one on this site…
#1 – Not Listening To The Holy Spirit
There are times that God will give a leader insight that He gives to no one else–THUS the reason for making him the leader. And, in my opinion, THE toughest time to lead is when you KNOW what God has said…but no one else is quite seeing it the way you do.
David faced this in I Samuel 24:1-7 when Saul was “delivered” into his hands. The “leaders” around him were pressing him to make a decision–THEY EVEN HAD BIBLE VERSES to back up their desires…but David just KNEW in His heart what God had said…and he was unwilling to violate that.
THE biggest mistakes I’ve ever made is when God clearly said to do (or not to do) something and I went against His command because I could not get everyone to agree…or because it just didn’t make sense.
#2 – Not Being Who God Called Me To Be
When I first began in ministry I really struggled with being the unique creation that God called me to be. I wasted a ton of time trying to be other people because I was convinced that I could never be the man who I felt was trapped inside of me and was desperate to come out.
God didn’t call me to be anyone but me…and when I try to imitate others rather than gravitate towards the character of Christ uniquely displayed in me…I dishonor my Creator!
Incredibly AWESOME Quick Hits April 28, 2008
#1 – Clayton and I went to rasslin’ last Monday night at the BI-LO center–it was redneck heaven & crazy fun! Oh yeah…THIS BLOG POST by him, in my opinion, is a classic. If you are a senior pastor you will love it!
(By the way NewSpringers…being honest here…I am blessed. God has been good to us as a church and me as a pastor…but trust me when I say that there are TONS of hurting pastors in this world–TONS!)
#2 – Shane Duffey, our Creative Arts Pastor, has a blog…and you should read it. It is entitled, “What Leadership Demands,” which is a subject he knows very well. He has a wife (who is also on staff full time) and four boys…AND he has to work with me…so you know his life is crazy!!!
#3 – If you missed Unleash you need to check out NewSpring’s podcast on itunes…we uploaded the messages…and you can download them (for free!) if you would like.
#4 – Craig has had some incredible posts on gratitude this week…if you haven’t checked them out you can do so at his blog…
#5 – In my opinion, Jonathan hit the ball out of the park with this post!
#6 – And finally this post by Tim Stevens is an incredible reminder to us all to prioritize marriage before the kids!
Sunday Night Reflections April 27, 2008
Here are a few thoughts before heading off to bed…
- First of all–please pray for my daughter–she’s sick. Nothing major–just a runny nose and extremely fussy. I can’t stand seeing her not well!
- By the way…she’s 10 months old today! WOW!
- Had a senior management team off site meeting on Thursday that, in all honesty, is going to REALLY change the way we view ministry…BIG TIME CHANGES headed our way. :-)
- Does anyone know of a good church in the Panama City Beach area…I will be vacationing there this summer and will actually be there on a Sunday and would LOVE to visit somewhere.
- Today at NewSpring was INTENSE…I spoke about money!
- The only people who get angry when you speak about money are…well…it’s like when I speak about adultery–the only people who would get angry about that are…well…
- The Bible has to say more about money than heaven, hell, faith and prayer combined–it HAS to be talked about in church.
- Matthew 6:21 and Matthew 6:24 are two verses that God used in a MAJOR way to get my attention with the money issue.
- I was a Christian for nearly 10 years before I totally surrendered my finances to God…but since doing so, well…I’ve never gone without (my heavenly Father KNOWS how to provide) AND I have discovered that I cannot out give God! (I dare you to try!)
- Today I challenged our church to NOT participate in rumors that tear down other churches and/or ministers. Seriously…there are WAY too many people in this world who do not know Jesus for us to concern ourselves with battling the Christian community!
- I hate snakes!
- We begin a new series this coming Sunday that I have been looking forward to for MONTHS!
- Mother’s Day is going to be INCREDIBLE!!! WOW!
- I love the church…I love the fact that she is the bride of Christ…that, in spite of her flaws she is beautiful and breathtaking…and is STILL God’s plan to reach and redeem the world!
- Seeing the children’s building and youth building go up absolutely FIRES me up…great things are in store.
- Greenville campus is right around the corner.
- I would LOVE to meet this guy!
- Florence campus is not far away!
Goodnight!
How To Pursue A Young Lady–Four Things You Should Know April 25, 2008
So, we’ve been in this “Sex, Money & Power” series and I’ve talked a lot about the husband and wife relationship. SO…I wanted to take a second or two to speak to the single dude out there who has been wrestling with this question, “So…how do I find a wife/pursue a lady?”
Call me old fashioned…but Proverbs 18:22 says that he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. So…here are five things I think a guy should do….
#1 – Be Persistent In Prayer!
I remember WAY before I began dating Lucretia I began to pray for my future wife…I had no idea who she was…but God knew. I prayed for God to bless her…for God to draw her close to Him…and for God to allow her to somehow think I was incredibly good looking! :-) (See–prayer works!)
Also–the verse I mentioned above mentions receiving favor from the Lord–guys, I think everyone of you should, when praying for his future mate, ask God for favor. He blessed me with favor–I married WAY over my head. Once again–prayer works.
#2 – Be Honest!
Don’t play games! Be up front and tell her exactly how you feel. And…don’t send your friend to do it for you. Don’t begin a “texting relationship.” Speak with her–without your friends or her friends being there…and don’t hold back.
Now I MUST throw in this disclaimer because some freak is going to read that and, within 10 minutes of the first date tell some poor young lady that he feels “called to marry her.”
Dude–STOP IT…you are freakin’ weird!
Honesty and the beginning of the relationship is NOT trying to hide who you really are OR trying to be someone else. AND…as the relationship progresses AND BOTH of you see potential…THEN the “this is how I feel” conversation needs to take place…not before.
#3 – Be Consistent
One of the things every woman in the world wants is security.
SO…guys, it is WAY UNCOOL to treat her one way when you are alone, another way in front of your friends and yet another way in front of her friends.
AND…it is so FIRST GRADE to say, “Well, she hasn’t been talking to me as much lately…so, I’m just going to give her the silent treatment.” That is not getting her attention–that is proving to her that you are a REAR END!
Treat her the same no matter what–THAT is an issue of character.
#4 – Be Patient
If the relationship isn’t moving along at the pace you want it to move–BACK OFF! If she says to leave her alone…then leave her alone. If she says to give her space–then give her space. BUT…if she says that she is undecided…but is really enjoying the friendship…then be her friend. What do you have to lose?
The last thing a girl wants to feel from a guy is pressure to make a decision. She wants to know that she can trust him…and that he likes being around her NOT because of where he might perceive the relationship heading…but because of where the relationship actually is.
Just some advice… :-) Next week I will do a post for the ladies entitled, “How to be pursued by a guy!” I promise it will be fun!
Six “What If’s” Pastors Should Wrestle With April 24, 2008
In response to my post yesterday…I’ve been thinking about the way that I, as a pastor, often respond to negative things I happen to hear about other pastors and ministries.
I began thinking…
#1 – What if pastors sought to pray for other pastors rather than tear them down?
We criticize and condemn others because of insecurity in our own lives…and the more we find wrong with others the more our personal insecurities are revealed.
BUT….WHAT IF we, upon hearing negative talk, we hit our knees for the person being talked about? What if we prayed for any untruth of what we’ve heard to be burned away? What if we prayed that if the rumor is true that God, in His mercy, would get the pastors attention and call him to repentance?
#2 – What if pastors began to realize that God is not limited to a particular formula of doing church?
One of the reasons that we, as pastors, attempt to tear down others is because they aren’t doing things the way we think they should be done.
In the earlier days of NewSpring my arrogance caused me to think and proclaim that we were actually doing church “right” and that others were wrong…now I am realizing there is no right and wrong way. The questions that need to be asked are–#1 – Are people being saved? And…#2 – Are people taking their next step in their journey with Christ?
NewSpring is a way of doing church–not THE way…and it takes different types of churches to reach different types of people. AND…I am WAY comfortable with that.
#3 – What if pastors truly celebrated the success of others rather than saying, “Yes, they are doing a good job over there–but I heard…”
I want other churches and ministries to be successful–period.
Several years ago whenever I would hear about someone’s success I would try my best to find a nugget of information that would make them look bad. Sort of like, “Yeah, they are reaching a lot of people–but how many of them are REALLY growing?”
Lately I have came to realize that God blesses churches in different ways…and that when He does I need to celebrate it rather than speaking against it. Once again, the only reason a pastor cannot celebrate the success of others is insecurity (and jealousy as well!)
#4 – What if pastors did not allow other pastors to criticize other pastors/ministries in front of them?
Seriously, what if we were willing to lay the smack down and say, “Hey bro…what you are doing right now the Bible actually calls slander…stop it!”
Pastor Steven Furtick had some awesome things to say about this here…awesome stuff!
#5 – What if pastors spent more time trying to learn from those who are different from them rather than trying to discredit their ministry?
I have a philosophy of ministry that I used to not have–here it is, I can learn something valuable from any ministry that God is blessing–period!
I want to learn from people who do ministry differently than me…and it is amazing to me how stupid and insecure pastors and church leaders are when it comes to this.
For example–anytime I mention TD Jakes or Joel Osteen on this website we have idiots e-mail in with their “concerns” about issues in regards to their theology or teaching style. (As if the person e-mailing is perfect and has it all figured out!)
BUT, I’ve said it before and I will say it again…I have an incredible amount of respect for both of those men. God is blessing their ministries in an incredible way…and I know there are tons of things that I could learn from them. Just because you are trying to learn something from someone doesn’t mean that you believe exactly like them!
(And for those who feel like you can only learn from just like you…please repent to God for being shallow and ridiculous!)
By the way–I’ve had the privilege of meeting Joel…but haven’t gotten to have lunch with Bishop Jakes yet…if anyone can make that connection I would be much obliged!!! :-) (I’m serious!)
#6 – What if pastors spent more time focusing on God’s Word and their own church rather than attempting to be watchdogs of everyone else’s ministry?
Dang…that was good…even if I say so myself!!!
I’ve got to be honest…I really don’t have time to tear down the ministry efforts of others. Seriously, I’ve got enough to be concerned about in trying to be a good husband, father and pastor. The day I have the time to rip apart other people’s ministry is the day that my ministry will be fruitless and dead.
(That’s the only way I would have the time…you see, if a vineyard is producing fruit then you really don’t have the time to peak at the perceived fruitfulness–or unfruitfulness–of others.)
I once heard TD Jakes say, “The problem with most pastors is that they never leave the locker room–they always feel the need to compare!” WHEW!
Pastors…you and I can experience TRUE freedom when we compare ourselves to our calling and God’s vision for our ministry and NOT the church down the road or across the country! We will not be held accountable for their ministry–we will be held accountable for ours! (Hebrews 13:17)
Apparently I Pulled My Pants Down!!! April 23, 2008
OK…so the rumor mill has stirred up another one.
I’ve heard tons of them…that there is a statue of me in the building, that I preach with my shirt off, that people have to show their tax returns to join our church and that we have a secret parking garage underneath the building. (The last one WOULD be really cool…but no, it’s not true!)
But this last one…when I heard it…I was speechless.
A gentleman in our church knew that God wanted him to join…but before doing so he wanted to have lunch with his soon to be former pastor to thank him for his ministry and share with him that he really felt that God was leading him and his family to begin attending NewSpring Church.
His pastor, upon finding out that the church he was going to be attending was NewSpring, said, “Well Bob (fake name!), you need to be very careful because I know for a fact from a very reliable source that the pastor over there pulled his pants down one Sunday to try to illustrate a point–and I think that is ungodly!”
OK…I know I drink lots of coffee…and that I often say & do crazy things…but I am around 110% sure that I’ve never pulled my pants down–ever! WOW…oh my dang!!!
I thought about that other pastor a lot last weekend. To my knowledge we’ve never met; however, I found it very interesting that he was very willing to assume the worse about me just because he had “a very reliable source.”
Confession–I’ve done the same thing before…all pastors have. We hear something about someone who we perceive to be some sort of threat…and instead of doing our homework we assume it’s true because we want to believe it.
This encounter REALLY taught me a few lessons…which I will share later on…
In the meantime, I am REALLY looking forward to this coming Sunday where we will be addressing, “The other thing men think about.” (And my pants will stay on for the entire message–I promise!!!)