Archive for October, 2007
Pastors Are People Too!!! October 24, 2007
My good friend, Clayton King, who is the teaching pastor here at NewSping (and is now blogging) shared this when he spoke two Sunday’s ago–it is one of the most heartbreaking stories I have ever read and it serves as a warning to pastors–and an eye opener to the churches they serve. I will have to admit that I am incredibly blessed to pastor this church…but many are not as fortunate to be a part of a church that takes care of the leaders who serve Christ there…here is an example…
One of my great joys over the past 20 years as an itinerant preacher has been the opportunity to meet pastors. These men are my heroes. I have grown to love and respect not only what they do, but the ability God gives them to do it year after year for His glory. And it does not matter if they are pastors of mega-churches or small rural congregations that cannot afford to pay them a salary.
Pastors are front and center in the life and death battle between light and darkness. Because of the difficulties and pressures of the pastoral calling, I have tried over the past few years to give them the benefit of the doubt, pray for them in all circumstances, stand up for them when they are mentioned in a negative fashion, and be less critical of them when I preach. After all, I may preach in 200 different places in a year. A pastor usually preaches in one. Bottom line: I love and respect pastors and they live under a scrutiny that most of us can never understand.
That is why this story is such a hard one to tell. But it must be told. And I pray that this never happens to your pastor, and that your church never allows this sort of destruction to take place in the life of the person God calls to shepherd your congregation.
Several years ago I ran into a pastor at a store while shopping. I had preached for him a decade earlier and asked how his church was doing. Here is the conversation that followed.
“Well Clayton, I really can’t say how the church is doing because they fired me 2 years ago and I have not been back, or even heard from anyone since I left. I was there for 13 years. Attendance doubled, we built a new sanctuary and added 4 new staff positions. But what I did not realize is that I let church work become my life. It came before time with my family and it even became more important to me than Jesus.”
“I figured out who the power players were in the church, and a deacon told me to make sure I did not make any of them mad because they had the 2 things that mattered most; family and money. So I made every decision based on them. I preached for them, made sure I did not offend them, and made special efforts to cater to them and their families. This brought short-term success, but I was burning out. I had no passion left. I was just working for a paycheck and health insurance for my family.”
“I did not realize how much I had negelcted my kids until one became a drug addict and the other one slipped into deep physical sin. I did not even know my own children, and it was my fault. Then one day I came home from a deacon’s meeting, and my wife had taken all of her stuff and left a note on the table that said she was tired of it. She hated me for ignoring my family and she blamed me for everything, for putting the church before them.”
You can imagine the lump in my throat as I stood there and listened to this grown man choke back tears over the family he lost. He was broken; a ghost of the leader, pastor, and shepherd I had met 10 years earlier. Then the saddest words to ever leave his lips landed on my ears.
“So what did my church do when all of this happened? The people I had served and pastored called a business meeting and they fired me. They said they could not have a divorced pastor with rebellious kids leading their congregation. They gave me 2 months salary and wished me luck.”
No grace. No counseling. No support. Maybe they felt he was unable to lead them any further. Fine. But not even a reception with cupcakes and coffee to say thanks for 13 years? This is way too common. I see it more than most anyone else because my calling carries me so many places, and when I hear these stories, I cry out to God to protect pastors, and the churches they serve, from shooting our own wounded. Of course not every church is like this and not every pastor suffers such a fate, but this man did. God help him, his wife, and his kids. And God help the Body of Christ to offer mercy and compassion to our own wounded who lay on the side of the road, in a ditch, waiting on anyone, even a Samaritan, to come to our aid.
(Note: This story was shared in a sermon called “Protecting Your Pastor” this past weekend at NewSpring Church in Anderson, SC. To view or listen to the sermon, visit newspring.cc)
My Bible Journey October 23, 2007
Picking up in Ezekiel and moving forward…
- Ezekiel 34:1-2, God is SERIOUS about His call to leadership…and will deal with those who misuse their call to the ministry.
- Ezekiel 36:9, This verse rocked my world!
- Ezekiel 36:10-11, I prayed this for our church!
- Ezekiel 38:23, YES, YES, YES!!!
- Ezekiel 40:4, God told Ezekiel to pay attention on what was shown to him…before I can effectively speak God’s Word…I must take it to heart.
- Daniel 2:20-23, Daniel offered this praise offering after God had answered a really tough prayer request, it caused me to think–do I say “thank You” to God enough for all of the amazing things I have seen Him accomplish?
- Daniel 3:16-18, This is quite possibly one of the most outstanding acts of faith in Scripture. These three guys were told they were going to die by burning to death…and they replied that they would not bow AND that God was able to save them, and then the phrase “but even if he does not” appears. They were not fair weather followers…they were serious. I want to be this serious!
- Daniel 4:17, God IS Sovereign–and leadership is a gift!
- Daniel 4:25, God IS Sovereign–and leadership is a gift!
- Daniel 4:32, God IS Sovereign–and leadership is a gift!
- Daniel 4:37, God hates pride and will humble those who walk in it!!! By the way…if you worry as to whether or not you are prideful…you probably aren’t! The prideful would not worry!
- Daniel 5:21, in case you missed it…God IS Sovereign–and leadership is a gift!
- Daniel 6:1-5, Daniel had SO MUCH INTEGRITY that no one could find fault with him…wow…this challenged me BIG TIME!
- Hosea 1:2-3, talk about RADICAL OBEDIENCE!
- Hosea 3:1-3, AGAIN, radical obedience to prove God’s love for us!
- Hosea 4:4-6, God is SERIOUS about His people knowing His Word–and is SERIOUSLY ticked when leaders do not teach exactly what He says. This reminded me to fear Him–not man!!!
- Hosea 6:3, I should never cease to try to know Him more…pressing on should be my goal.
- Hosea 8:4, When leaders are put into place that are not of God–things can get really bad!
- Hosea 10:12, the best is yet to come…in Christ there is always potential!
- Hosea 11:1-4, I can NEVER forget what God has done for me! I am a Christian not because of my goodness but because of His kindness!!!
- Hosea 12:10, God spoke in parables through prophets? I’ll bet the bloggers went nuts when these guys “watered down” His Word by not going line by line, verse by verse! :-)
- Hosea 13:4, Can it be any more clear?
Those are just a few of the things the Lord has been showing me.
Sunday Night Reflections October 21, 2007
It’s been a great weekend–here are a few thoughts before I hit the hay…(pictures included!)
- Today was the first message I have ever taught on the subject of parenting…and I did so with fear and trembling. However, I felt the message was VERY well received and I could tell the Lord was REALLY dealing with us. Preaching the message four times was incredibly convicting…I’ve only been a parent for four months and there is so much I’ve got to work on!!!
- I spoke with a single lady today and she said she is PUMPED about this series–I love the fact that we have so many college students and singles coming to our church–and that they are READY to hear what God has to say on this subject.
- The music was off the hook today…especially in the 6:45 service…that extended worship time is GREAT!
- This coming Sunday, I believe, has the possibility of being one of the most powerful services we have ever experienced at NewSpring Church. I CAN’T WAIT!
- We began the initial planning meetings for our Christmas services this past week–I am loving the direction this is heading.
- Pledges for Gametime keep coming in…a guy from Texas e-mailed the other day asking how he can be involved…and made a pretty substantial pledge because he wanted to be a part of what God is doing here at NewSpring. THAT BLEW MY MIND!
- I seriously LOVE this church, from day one NewSpring has NOT placed unrealistic expectations on me as a pastor, thus allowing me to focus on my marriage and here lately, my daughter. This means a lot to me because most of you know how the pastor’s kids turn out. (Usually because they hang out with the deacons kids!!!) My wife and daughter are BEAUTIFUL!!!
- By the way…the people who show up at NewSpring expecting the pastor to do it all…they usually don’t stay very long. I’ve always told the church that they can be replaced–Lucretia and Charisse can’t! And I refuse to sacrifice my family on the ministry alter. (Be sure to see Wednesday’s post that deals with this.)
- Clemson won, USC lost–TO VANDY!!! Seriously–Vanderbilt! What the heck is THAT? Number six in the nation…AND VANDERBILT! You guys actually had me believing that the chickens were for real! :-)
- I had lunch at P.F. Changs on Friday. AHHHHHH! I will probably do a separate post on this in the future, but…that was some of the BEST FOOD I have ever stuck in my mouth!
- Afterwards I went to the Stone Cold Creamery and had sweet cream ice cream with two huge “slabs” of chocolate chip cookie dough and some white chocolate chips…that made me very happy. AND I believe in heaven we will be able to consume large amounts of ice cream because it will contain NO CALORIES!
- I killed ANOTHER spider on Friday…it was hanging over my garage door and I knew that if I didn’t slay this creature of death that it would somehow get into my car and bite me!!! SO…I grabbed my CD case and swung at it at least four times…it nearly fell on me…Lucretia said that watching the whole thing was hilarious!
- I am getting my eyes checked on Wednesday. I would LOVE to have lasik done one day…Lee did and he LOVES IT. BUT…I am as blind as a bat so it would have to be a pretty darn good surgeon!
- We had over 1,400 children at church today–HOLY SMOKE!
- My throat HURTS…it always does after taking a week off!
That’s about it for now–heading to put Charisse to bed…and then I am going to pass out!!!
My Beautiful Little Girl… October 19, 2007
It’s so amazing what God is teaching me…and she is getting more beautiful by the minute!
First of all–GO TO THIS LINK–this is amazing picture, at least it is to me! I could not get this to upload onto my site–but DANG, she has my heart wrapped!!! :-)
Last Friday we were playing in the floor and she smiled for the camera–she’s awesome!
She’s getting really long–I think she’s going to be a tall baby. I already feel sorry for her–I know how hard it is for tall guys to find pants long enough…so I know she will struggle. BUT…NO PROBLEM…I am completely willing to personally go and pick out all her clothes…isn’t she lucky?
She tried rice cereal for the first time this week, we’re not sure if she actually ate any of it, but hey, it was her first try!
Charisse is going to be like me when it comes to food–here she is in her high chair–and it’s all business as you can tell!!!
Keep ‘Cretia and I in your thoughts and prayers, that God would fill us with wisdom and that we would raise her in an environment where Jesus is first in all that we do!
Four Things A Single Girl Should Know October 18, 2007
Last year I did a post entitled “Five Things A Single Dude Needs To Know” that I felt like really challenged guys and gals…at least the e-mails proved that to be true. AND…one of the questions I received for several week after was, “What about the girls, when are you going to challenge them?” Well–after about eleven months here goes…
#1 – Girls Chase Boys, Women Wait To Be Pursued.
Ladies, please believe me when I say that if you are pursuable then a godly man will take notice at just the right time…wait. If you have to pursue a guy and initiate all of the conversations and planning then the dude is not ready to lead…which would automatically disqualify him biblically from being your husband.
Ladies–admit it–the desire of your heart is to know that someone thinks you are lovely enough to pursue…and when a guy makes an effort to win your heart–there’s just something about that that makes you feel special.
God created you–designed you…and it wasn’t so you can throw yourself at a guy, hoping that he notices. Fall in love with Jesus and a godly guy will notice, I promise.
(If you are whining right now saying, “But I am in love with Jesus and no one is noticing” then you need to stop and listen to yourself…trust me, a dude doesn’t want to pursue a woman who whines!)
#2 – Set High Expectations
This sort of goes along with the first thing…but ladies–let me say this clearly–Ephesians 3:20 says that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, which means that you should not look at a guy and say, “I can fix him up and he might work.” As I often say, you are NOT the Holy Spirit–”fixing people” is the job of Jesus…not you!
When you get married you need to be willing to say, “I will love this person AS IS for the rest of my life, if NOTHING changes I will love them!” BECAUSE, when you get married, change is NOT a guarantee…so don’t listen to promises of change if evidence is not shown beforehand.
I am SICK and TIRED of godly Christian young ladies settling because of insecurities in their lives OR because their friends are getting married and they think that they are going to be 28 and single–which would be the end of the world!!! I have seen girls get here and panic–and then date and marry some dude, only to be in divorce court in less than five years–which brings about another set of issues altogether!
Ladies–remember–Ephesians 3:20! Is he more than you could ever ask for or imagine?
#3 – Don’t Over Analyze!
Girls are HORRIBLE as this…a guy will ask them out and they will think the following…
- “He just asked me out–what does he mean by going “out?”
- “If I go out this once then does that mean we are dating?”
- “What if I don’t like going out with him–and he asks me out again?”
- “Is he thinking marriage? Oh my–if we had kids they just wouldn’t be cute!”
- “He hasn’t called me in a day, he hates me, did I have broccoli in my teeth?”
I could literally go on and on…but ladies, if a guy ask you out and you want to go–then go, and don’t spend the 72 hours before and after trying to analyze things that probably will never happen. Seriously, God probably hasn’t even invented some of the problems that ladies get stressed out about–CHILL!
#4 – Be Honest!
If I have one pet peeve with girls…it’s this–they will go out with a guy, say they had a great time…he will ask can they go out again and she says, “Call me.”
So he calls…and calls…and calls! The girl never answers when she sees its him on caller ID, she thinks if she ignores him then he may just go away. BUT, because he’s a guy and probably a little clueless–he keeps calling.
Finally they accidentally run into each other somewhere…I say “accidentally” because she had NO INTENTIONS of ever speaking to him again. He says, “I’ve been trying to call you,” and she replies, “Really…yeah, uh, I’ve been…uh…you know…busy.”
He says, “That’s cool–I understand…so, what are you doing tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow night? Uh…well…uh…I have plans.” (This is always the safest answer, right?)
“Plans–well what about the night after that…”
This conversation goes on and on with the girl making some obscure reference to having to check her schedule and for him to call her–and the game goes on.
Ladies–please–be honest. If you like the guy and want to go back out–and he asks you–then say yes. Don’t play games…say yes and go. BUT…if you have no intentions of ever going back out with him again…then please, tell him because he is probably driving his friends crazy!!!
Those are just a few hints…we are doing an entire series for singles next year–should be FUN!
Parents Are Clueless? October 17, 2007
If you have not seen the website then you need to go here right now and check it out (and if you did not see the series promotion video on Sunday–check it out, it’s awesome)…this series is something our church needs…there are “issues” on both sides of the parenting coin. And, like I have said here, those that are non-parents desperately need to check out this series because, it’s not really wise to wait until you are IN a situation to figure out how you are going to deal with it.
We will be covering the following over the few weeks…
Three Crucial Mistakes I Do Not Want To Make As A Parent - I am about four months into my parenting experience…but I served in youth and children’s ministry for nearly a decade before starting NewSpring, and I saw a thing or two that I desperately do not want to do…but they are REALLY easy mistakes to make and, if not careful, I will do exactly what I do not wish to do! AND for non-parents (we all have parents), is there anything I am doing to cause unnecessary stress in the life of my parents?
Four Wishes I Would Make For My Daughter – Let’s say God showed up and offered me four wishes. (Who came up with three wishes anyway?) What, as a parent, should I REALLY wish for? Who does the child really belong to? Why is the child on the planet? What is the biggest lie that parents tell their children that can deviate them from God’s path? AND for non-parents, why do parents seem to push so hard and how in the world do you handle that?
What Happens When A Good Kid Goes Bad – It is completely possible to raise a child in a godly home, loving them unconditionally, taking them to church…and then watch them choose a destructive path that just rips your heart out. What do you do when this happens? Is it your fault? Is Proverbs 22:6 really true? And for non-parents, this weekend could be your story…do you have a fractured relationship with your parents that needs to be healed? You might be surprised at who needs to take the first step!!!
What Is The Best Thing Parents Can Do For Their Kids – This one will be fun. We live in a world that is obsessed with giving kids the best of everything…except in the areas in which it really matters. I have made it a habit of studying successful families since receiving Christ…and ALL of them have some things in common. During this message we will examine what they are–and how the Bible has been saying to do these things all along! AND for non-parents…this will be the message in the series that you do NOT want to miss because, if we align according to the structure set forth in God’s Word–then we can go into marriage and parenting on the right track!
That’s all for now–I can’t give EVERYTHING away! Folks–tell people about the website AND invite them to church this weekend–they will come, I promise–this is a topic that has created a lot of buzz. Get people here…if you tell them we are doing this series…they will come!
Oh yeah–remember for the rest of this month kids get food before the 5:00 service and ice cream afterwards!!! (And you get to sleep in a little on Sunday morning!)
Pursuing Christ Or Comfort? October 16, 2007
What is the one thing you know God wants you to do–but you constantly refuse because, in order to be obedient you would have to be willing to get uncomfortable?
Go back and read that question again…and again…and again.
There is a dangerous mindset among some Christians today, you know, the one that says that God just wants me to be happy and to live a very comfortable life (uh…how exactly does THE CROSS fit into that?) When, in reading Scripture, God is very clear that we exist for HIS glory–not vice versa. AND in trying to live a life that honors Him there will be times we are asked to get incredibly uncomfortable.
This has became very real to me lately as I am in Hosea on my journey through Scripture. Hosea was a prophet, apparently had a pretty good ministry going on, was single and, from the outside looking in, seemed to have it all together. THEN God showed up…and things got uncomfortable.
Take a look at Hosea 1:2-3. Seriously–read those verses and think about what God was asking Hosea to do! Think about it…Hosea is sitting in his study and the Lord begins to deal with him…
“Hosea, I think it is time that you get married!”
“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Hosea replied…remember, he was a single dude! “I was wondering when You would give me some help here…and I’ve had my eye on this girl…”
“Hosea, uh, she’s not the one for you!”
“Really? Well…uh…I guess that means you have something else in mind–who is it that you want me to marry?”
“A prostitute.”
“A WHAT!!! God, seriously, come on…stop playing around.”
“I’m not playing around Hosea. You are going to marry a prostitute.”
“Well at least tell me what her name is.”
“Gomer.”
“GOMER!!! God, seriously, it’s bad enough that I’m going to marry a prostitute–but GOMER? Have I sinned? What have I done to make You mad? The bloggers are going to go nuts on this one!”
“Who cares what they think–I want to use you for my glory…and while I know this isn’t a decision that you would have came to on your own I want you to know that your willingness to be obedient and uncomfortable will result in thousands of lives being impacted for me. In fact, there’s this guy named Perry who, thousands of years from now, will blog about this conversation…”
OK, so, I just threw in that last part–but I think you get the point. God asked Hosea to do something that was unthinkable, to put his reputation on the line…and through this a message was communicated that still rocks me at my core–all because Hosea was obedient.
I am wrestling with this…what is the Lord asking me to do that is incredibly uncomfortable–but will ultimately result in HIS glory? In the past some of these decisions have been…
- Ending a dating relationship because I knew it wasn’t what God wanted. This was HARD because I was so insecure–but had I not been obedient I would not have married ‘Cretia…and then there would be no Charisse!!! (Anyone need to break up?)
- Surrendering my money to God. This was seriously one of the TOUGHEST decisions I have ever made. I received Christ in 1990…but I didn’t surrender my money until 1999. I wrestled with this because I was selfish and wanted things for myself rather than truly worshiping Him with ALL that I had. (Anyone need to begin tithing?)
- Going into the ministry. I didn’t want to do this. I say it all the time–I hated church and now He wanted me to work in one for the rest of my life. BUT…I could not get the thought of ministry out of my mind and knew it was what He wanted me to do. (Anyone need to change careers?)
I could go on and on…the point is for each one of us to wrestle this to the ground…What is the one thing you know God wants you to do–but you constantly refuse because, in order to be obedient you would have to be willing to get uncomfortable?