Great Post November 23, 2005

Lee McDerment has a great thought provoking post on his blog on the mega church and house church movement…if you are interested you can check it out here.

Random Thoughts Before Thanksgiving… November 23, 2005

For those looking for the poem you may have heard about–scroll down! (For you USC fans you are familiar with scrolling down–sort of like how you looked for your team in the polls when they came out!) :-) YES–I am ruthless!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow–YEAH! Lucretia went over the menu last night…AND she said the magic words…”I have this new recipe I want to try…” TRUST ME–it WILL be good–the girl can cook!

I don’t understand some people–I read this morning about groups of people who camped outside of stores all night so that they could be the first to buy one of the new X-box game systems–I guess I just enjoy WARMTH too much–and besides, I am in my 3rd season with Clemson in NCAA 2006. (Yes, I have won the National Championship twice!)

More random thoughts coming later on today!

My Thoughts On The Game From This Past Weekend November 22, 2005

I didn’t really say anything about the Clemson & USC game from this past weekend yesterday on this blog–and I have recently been inspired to dig deep within myself and share with you all a poem that I wrote that expresses exactly how I feel concerning the game.

(If you are not from the state of SC then you probably will not understand–I apologize…I will be back to “normal” tomorrow!)

Oops, I Did It Again! November 21, 2005

Before I begin–my apologies to those of you who now have “that song” in your head…and you will be singing it all day! If you want to do something interesting…go around your office singing it and see how many people you can get to join in–you’ll be surprised! OR if they do not join in you will catch them singing it later–trust me!)

Sorry about that…now onto the post…

I did it again…after preaching four times yesterday I was lying in bed last night and realized that I had forgotten to say something. (Actually–this happens every Sunday night!)

Let’s be honest–yesterday was about the most INTENSE service we have had at NewSpring in a few weeks. God’s Word was preached–the TRUTH was declared…and I am sure that some people left hating me AND not feeling good about their relational status! (If you want to listen you can go here.)

I’m fine with that…as I said last night I MUST be true to God’s Word and His call. The Bible clearly tells me that one day I will have to give an account of what I teach–and when I stand before God He’s not going to ask me, “Did you make people feel good,” but rather, “Did you teach the truth!”

If you were not there and wondered what was so tense, well…I did address the singles; however, as I began to work on the message last week the Lord lit a fire in me to really come strong in regards to the married folks in the church–and challenge them to stay the course instead of looking for marital bliss in greener pastures.

Let me repeat myself–if you are married–flirting with someone who is not your spouse is never innocent–it’s wrong. Scripture says we are not to give the devil a foothold in our lives–and by flirting with someone who is not your spouse you are inviting havoc on your marriage.

Singles–flirting with someone who is married is not “innocent fun,” IT’S SIN! Think about it like this, one day you will be married–do you want someone coming onto your future spouse and declaring their innocence while doing so? I think not!

I also address the pathetic practice that some weak ego’d men are doing, you know, going onto singles websites (which I can’t stand–more on that maybe at another time) and registering themselves…all “in fun”…just to see if he’s still “got it,” to see if women still would consider him!

Men–this is WRONG…it’s not innocent–it’s WRONG! You are dishonoring your wife, if you don’t believe me then just ask her…I am sure she would be glad to tell you how she feels.

BUT what I forgot is that women do this as well…but it’s not in seeing if they are still physically attractive–but in internet chat rooms! There are many married women who feel neglected at home…and instead of trying to work on it they lose themselves in an emotional affair with a man they don’t even know.

Women–this is WRONG…you are sharing things with a man that is not your husband…and it isn’t innocent fun–it’s WRONG. (If you don’t believe me–ask your husband!)

You see, for men the need is physical…for women it is emotional…and both will seek out ways to fulfill these desires if they are not being met at home. The RIGHT thing to do is WORK on it, no matter how difficult is it instead of getting lost in cyber world and declaring that this practice will never affect your marriage.

Marriage is work–it takes communication, discipline, and honesty! And we must be very careful in the way we deal with people of the opposite sex. I personally have rules, boundaries if you will. I never travel alone–EVER! I do not ride in a car alone with a female. I am open and honest with my wife about everything…and I create an environment where she can be open and honest with me without being laughed at or told she’s “stupid” for feeling that way!

These are just some things I have done to protect myself…I am not perfect, my marriage is not perfect–but it is a work in progress…and my friends, when two people decided to go all out when it comes to being with each other forever–it just keeps getting better and better!

Cracker Barrel, The Game, Hitch, and Other Random Thoughts November 18, 2005

This week has been exhausting…but FUN! Let me be very clear, I LOVE what I do…and I consider myself blessed to be able to serve as the pastor of NewSpring. It is an exciting thing to lay it all on the line every day.

This week we had a “in town” leadership retreat where we planned out the next six months. Needless to say I had some trouble sleeping. I can’t wait for the move into the new building, and I am praying that God will continue to draw people to Him and change lives.

Now on to a different subject.

Lucretia and I had supper last night at The Cracker Barrel. She LOVES that place…and I like it pretty well myself. I used to not be a big fan until I discovered a desert they have there called the baked apple dumpling! WOW! It is amazing…and to be honest, I usually get a salad when I go–or some other random entree…I am REALLY just there for this baked apple thing!

But last year they began something around the holiday’s that just does not make sense…they took my beloved desert off the menu and replaced it with some sort of apple pie. I remember complaining about it and they told me that the pie was just like the dumpling…so I ordered it.

IT WASN’T! So I didn’t go back until the holidays were over–not out of anger–but because what I desired the most was not there.

So last night I saw that the pie was back…and I knew what that meant–no more dumpling. I asked the water about it and he said, “Well, we have the apple pie…it’s the same…” I cut him off, “Hey dude–I hear you–but please–it’s not the same.”

He laughed and said, “I think they might have made a few dumplings this morning–let me check.” It turns out they had made some–and so I was able to enjoy this awesome bit of manna from heaven! If you go to Cracker Barrel–ask for Justin’s section–he went over and above the call, thanks Justin!

The Hitch series is proving to be popular…and I am really excited about this coming week! We are going to be talking about what happens when opportunity knocks…and it isn’t God!!! As I said last week–we really need some people to dedicate to 8:30 for this week…we were slammed in all of our other services last week–but there is room at 8:30. :-)

The next series we are going to be launching on December 4th will be called, “Wonderbread!” Trust me–you’ve never seen anything like it.

Oh yeah, big game this weekend in SC–and anyone who knows me knows that I will be pulling for The University In South Carolina–CLEMSON!

My prediction–Clemson wins by three touchdowns. WHOA! I can hear Carolina fans groaning now, “We’re 7-3, look at us–we’re number 19!!!” Yep, you have won seven game–against Troy, Arkansas, Central Florida, Vanderbilt, Kentucky–real powerhouses! :-)

I can hear you now–watch your language! I am glad that ESPN2 decided to pick up the game. I heard people complaining…and I was one of them…about a station not picking up this game during rivalry week–that is until I realized that in order for something to be a rivalry–there must be competition…and what the USC fans have called a rivalry–Clemson fans have called domination!

Calm down–just a little friendly pre-game hype! It should be a good game–Clemson still wins by three touchdowns…and we hear the groans of “Wait until next year” again!

Oh yeah–if for some reason Carolina wins…I will post my thoughts on the win sometime Sunday! (I am not planning on having to do any typing–but just in case!)

I Wasn’t Going To Go Here…But… November 17, 2005

Have you ever known you needed to say something…and you knew it was the right thing to say, but you KNEW that someone was going to misunderstand…to misuse your comments to either abuse you or someone else?

This week I have been challenging men and women. I feel like I was tougher on the men–but we need that, right guys?

And yesterday I challenged the women…and then asked them to let me know was their anything I was forgetting…

The majority of the ladies that read this blog responded with something I had forgotten. What was it–uh…I’m a little nervous here…(deep breath)…and let me say this first, this is for women AND men…here goes…women need to continually strive to look nice for their husband!

Touchy subject, right?

Men, let me address you first. Men–we should continually strive to be attractive for the woman that we marry. It’s amazing to me that before a man gets married he will go to the gym multiple times a week, TAKE SHOWERS…using soap and everything! Purchase cologne & not complain about the price. The dude will go all out–and then he gets married & forgets where the gym is, often states that soap is way over rated, and chooses to buy deer pee-pee to put on his hunting vest over purchasing things to make him smell nice.

And then he wonders why his wife does not consider him to be romantic! DUH!

I work out like CRAZY…and I am not doing it to impress anyone in particular–but I do it for my wife. I was her to be able to always tell me that I have nice legs. (Yes, she does tell me that! And it doesn’t matter what you think–if she thinks they are nice–THEY ARE! She is the only opinion that counts!)

I also work out because one day Lucretia and I plan on having children…and I do not want to be in the house trying to find my blood pressure and heart medicine instead of out in the yard playing games and enjoying their childhood. Men–you children WILL NOT CARE if you were an all star athlete once upon a time–but they will remember how ACTIVE you were with them.

And men, you wife wants you to take care of yourself. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS–YOU are NOT romantic when you are sitting on the couch with your boxer shorts on, you haven’t taken a shower, you are picking your toe nails and putting them in a pile on the coffee table, and your breath stinks!!! Do some exercise…take a bath…brush your teeth…and maybe, just maybe you will become more attractive in the eyes of your wife.

Now ladies…(sweat is forming across my forehead)…we’ve got to talk about this.

One of the things that has always bothered me is to see women who are incredible passionate about looking good for their husband on honeymoon night…but after that she takes on the mindset of, “I’ve got him…and he needs to love me no matter what I look like.”

Whether you like it or not–looks matter to a man. You can call him a pig, say he is superficial, but you cannot change that fact.

I can brag here–my wife is more beautiful that the day we married. She takes care of herself–she hits the gym at least six days a week…and not because I MAKE her…but because she wants to look good for me AND she has a strong desire to be healthy.

And ladies (and gentlemen), please–PLEASE do not use your children to excuse an undisciplined & lazy lifestyle. You have GOT to stop blaming it on them!!! It’s not their fault. I know too many men AND women who have full time jobs, are wonderful at being a husband/wife, and manage to make time to take care of themselves physically.

I heard one of the women in our office say one time during a creativity meeting, “I work out hard because I want my husband looking at ME…I want my husband to check me out when I walk by and like what he sees!” Uh, one more thing–this young lady has had three children in the past five years…once again–kids are no excuse.

Now ladies–I want to be incredibly fair here. The world has been cruel to you–incredibly cruel. It has placed you in a position that no man has ever been in. All of you feel the pressure when you see the television shows AND the magazine covers of women who seem to be beautiful…and you are told by the media that “she” is your standard–look like her.

(What you do not understand is that she would not look that way were it not for a really good plastic surgeon and adobe photo shop!)

And combine that with the fact that pregnancy can do funky things to your body…and I know that many of you are self conscience about that.

I am not saying to go on an extreme diet–hit the gym three times a day–commit to some sort of eating disorder–NO, NO, NO! What I am saying is that you should do your best to take care of yourself…to put effort into looking nice for your husband…and he will appreciate that.

Men, a challenge to you–do NOT EVER, and I mean EVER tell your wife, “I wish you looked more like her,” or, “you sure used to be a lot skinnier!” You are to constantly affirm and build your wife up…and most of the time, the more you love her like Christ loves the church–the more beautiful she will become.

My wife is my standard of beauty–period. I do not have someone that I wish she looked more like in mind…and I do not tell her that there are parts of her body I would love for her to alter in some sort of way. I love her as she is–right now. But on the flip side–she is serious about meeting the need that I (and every man has) to have an attractive spouse. It’s a beautiful thing.

Well there–I said it…if you would like to read more about it then I would recommend for you to purchase this book–it has an entire chapter dedicated to it.

Have an awesome day!

A Challenge To The Ladies November 16, 2005

I received an e-mail either yesterday or the day before from a lady who said that she had really been enjoying the challenge I have issued to the men; however, she also said that she was nervous about what I was going to say regarding women. :-)

Relax…I do feel led to offer a few Scriptural recommendations…but it hopefully will not be in the same tone as it was with the men. I have learned that women and men are wired completely different…and you can say challenging things to women…but if it isn’t said in the correct way the words will bounce off & they will not receive them.

Ladies–in my message this past Sunday I forgot a KEY POINT that my wife and I had discussed several weeks ago. I made the point that Adam had a relationship with God…and that this was the first relationship he had…but did you know the same was true for Eve? In Genesis chapter two God put Adam to sleep and took a rib and made Eve–so, when Eve was completed Adam was still sleeping–that means that the very first relationship Eve had on this planet was with God.

I still say that if a woman is to be a good wife then she has to have an intimate relationship with Jesus–there’s just not a way around that. I know that time is a factor when you figure work, kids, the house…however, as I said to the men–it is an issue of importance…and the most important thing your husband needs is for you to be in love with Jesus.

Now to this next point…take a deep breath…it will get a little tense here.

Eve’s first relationship was with God. Eve’s second relationship was with…her…HUSBAND and not her CHILDREN! (More on this in a minute–I just wanted to point that out for now.)

Women, just like I challenged the men to invest time into their spouse–the same is true for you. One of the things that men desire more than anything else in the world is to be respected, especially by the woman that they are in love with. (God is so smart–He mentions that in Ephesians 5:33)

Men also like to be told “how good they are” at certain things, they like to have you build up their ego. Unfortunately though many wives neglect this need that their husbands have & go the total opposite direction…they tear him down. Let me be very clear ladies–there is not a man on the planet that wants to come home to an environment where he is criticized and condemned…where he is constantly reminded of the things that he is NOT doing well…where he is constantly told when he can’t seem to fix something, “Well, I’ll just call my dad–HE can fix it!”

This is also why many men prefer to be at the office…to work late. They want to be around people who build them up…and if they are not getting that at home then they will not desire to spend a lot of time there.

Men long for affirmation…and their wife should be their number one source. Ladies–let me be clear on this–men will find affirmation somewhere. AND if they are not getting it from you then I promise there is some little tramp out there that will build him up. (That is not justification for a man leaving his wife–it is merely a reason!)

So ladies–when was the last time you thanked your husband…for anything? For balancing the checkbook, for taking out the trash, for mowing the yard–for WORKING hard? Once again, men LONG for this!

I believe it is the woman’s job to create an atmosphere of respect in their home for the husband. But once again I have seen that there are so many children that do not respect their father…and the PRIMARY reason is that the mother is always openly declaring how stupid her husband is and how lazy he has became–right in front of them!

After Adam & Eve…well…they had babies. That was third–but it seems in today’s society that many women put their children before their husband. Women, let me be very clear–the Bible says that children are a gift from God–but the Bible also teaches that one day your children are going to LEAVE…and then it is you & him again…and if you have neglected him for around 20 years then what does that relationship look like?

I have seen women who refuse to have a date night with their husband because they don’t want to leave the children…this communicates to the man, “You and your needs are no longer important to me.” I have seen women who cannot have a meal with the family because little Tommy doesn’t like what has been prepared for supper…and so the dad eats while mom fixes little Tommy whatever he wants.

Let me say this before moving on…children have became little gods in our society! I can honestly say that if I had not approved of my mother’s menu selection when I was a child that I would have gone to bed hungry! But not in today’s world…children are worshipped. (And if you are becoming angry with me as you read this–its probably because I am speaking against your “god!”)

Don’t get me wrong–children are not to be neglected–they are a gift–they are too be loved, taught, cared for…but the wife is not to neglect her husband in order to take care of the kids–its just not Biblical.

One more thing ladies…openly communicate with your husband. It is up to him to create an atmosphere of vulnerability…but it is up to you to be honest…and so when he asks you is something wrong and you say “nothing” when something really is…that makes you liar. He cannot read your mind…and most of the time hints do not work either. If he comes home and finds supper in the trash he will get the hint that you are angry–he just might need some help as to the specifics.

That’s about it for now–maybe more tomorrow–maybe not…I’ll ask you ladies–anything you think I forgot to mention?